The Stormy Search for the Self: A Guide to Personal Growth Through Transformational Crisis

The authors of STORMY SEARCH FOR THE SELF bring a unique set of life experiences to this book. Christina Grof has been through her own tumultuous psychospiritual awakening, while her husband Stanislav Grof, M.D. brings the insights he gained from his seventeen years as a pioneering LSD psychotherapist. During the birth of her first child, at one point Christina felt something "snap" inside of her, and powerful electrical-like energies began rushing through her body, while brilliant white fireworks exploded in her head. These and similar symptoms of kundalini-energy arousal plagued her life from that day onward, and eventually she turned to alcohol for relief, resulting after several years in alcohol addiction. When she "hit bottom" with her alcoholism, the sense of total physical, emotional, and spiritual bankruptcy was the internal dying experience or "ego death" (the turning point in many psychospiritual crises) that she needed; from that day on, her kundalini symptoms disappeared and never returned. As the Grofs began telling others about Christina's stormy spiritual awakening, they discovered that other people had been through similarly difficult periods of psychological instability and growth. However, others' troublesome symptoms had been triggered by a variety of events other than kundalini arousal, ranging from a near-death experience or a mystical experience, to unsought development of psychic powers or spirit guides or channeling or shamanic-initiation illness, to encounters with UFO-related otherwordly visitors, to psychiatrist John Perry's psychosis-like "return to the center" (which the book left me with only a vague understanding of; I wish the authors had explained this condition more clearly and completely). The Grofs also concluded that some addictions (like Christina's alcoholism) can be a sign of a "spiritual emergency" in progress. ("Spiritual emergency" is the authors' term for any period of emotional turbulence and/or mental confusion which is caused by a traumatic experience in a person's life; such conditions always have the potential for healing and growth leading to a higher sanity, deeper stability, and greater wholeness than ever before.) The Grofs offer practical guidelines for anyone going through a stormy psychospiritual awakening, such as listening to music while expressing your feelings in dancing or other movement, while at the same time singing or chanting or otherwise vocalizing. They also suggest how family and friends can help, such as by remaining nonjudgemental, keeping your sense of humor, offering supportive physical contact like hugs, and trusting the process to eventually resolve itself provided it is simply supported and encouraged. One way to encourage and support the growth process is simply by breathing more quickly and deeply than usual. During Christina's crisis, the Grofs had discovered that hyperventilation causes symptoms to temporarily intensify, eventually (after an hour or so of

STORMY SEARCH FOR THE SOUL brings together Christina Grof's tumultuous kundalini/alcoholism crisis with her husband Stanislav Grof's seventeen years' experience as an LSD psychotherapist. When the couple began sharing with others about Christina's stormy psychospiritual awakening (which began with the birth of her first child as powerful electrical-like energy coursed through her body and brilliant white fireworks exploded in her head), they discovered that many other people had been through similarly difficult, dramatic experiences. Yet instead of kundalini awakening, others had been confronted with a variety of diverse events, from near-death or mystical experiences, to UFO/extraterrestrial encounters, to shamanic opening, to development of psychic powers or channeling or spirit guides; the Grofs also concluded that some cases of alcoholism or other addiction are due to a potentially positive spiritual awakening that is trying to happen; and they describe several additional types of "spiritual emergencies," as they term these sorts of crises. Although often mis-diagnosed as psychosis, a psychospiritual awakening crisis can be worked through, using techniques such as hyperventilation, resulting in growth and a positive resolution, just as Christina's alcoholism-kundalini crisis resolved when she hit bottom with her alcoholism, helped along by her husband's knowledge from LSD psychotherapy. For indeed, Stanislav had noticed that his wife's symptoms were similar to what people go through in LSD therapy (in large part reliving birth, and confronting death). He dovotes a chapter to describing the levels of the psyche that he discovered as an LSD therapist (the surface layer of childhood traumatic memories, and deeper in the unconscious the experiential memory of birth, while deepest of all lies the transpersonal or spiritual aspect of the self). With his understanding, and the couple's discovery that hyperventilation can resolve troubling symptoms in a way quite similar to how LSD therapy resolves problems (by reliving birth and facing one's mortality over several dozen intense, dramatic therapy sessions), Christina had reached a new stability, and freedom from her kundalini symptoms which ended her hunger for alcohol to blunt the symptoms. The authors offer guidelines for distinguishing a psychospiritual awakening from psychosis, which should be helpful for anyone falsely diagnosed as psychotic, or anyone wondering if they are going crazy (which is a not uncommon feeling in a spiritual emergency). They also offer suggestions for working through one's symptoms and so cooperating with one's growth process, such as singing and dancing and yelling to music; also included are tips for friends and family who want to help, such as trusting the process to eventually resolve itself with encouragement and support. I have been going through my own psychospiritual journey of awakening for about fifteen years, and I found STORMY SEARCH FOR THE SELF

An excellent book for anyone who's ever wondered if they are having a psychic experience or a psychotic experience. Details the Grof's personal experiences and lists other types of spiritual emergencies. Also gives excellent advice about how to cope with a spiritual crisis. Everyone involved in spiritual pursuits should read this book because the potential negative side effects of meditation, prayer, etc. are rarely mentioned elsewhere.

While I have reservations about the work done by the Grofs, I heartily recommend this book to anyone suffering from a crisis of spirit, particularly when accompanied by the symptoms of what used to be called shamanic illness (believe me, you'll know it if you have it). I don't know how many people who've negotiated this crisis who have told me they wished they had a resource to normalize their extrahuman experiences, experiences they believed (and were told by doctors and shrinks) represented the onset of insanity rather than a unique gift highly prized in more spiritually aware cultures of the past. This book is such a resource.

In a time when life can be confusing and chaotic, it is with great joy to find a book that clarifies so much struggle and ambivalence that undermines many peoples special lives. This book gave me hope when all I saw was dismal and bleak. It explained everything I have been going through for four years now, and gave me encouragement not to try and stop the process that was awakening within myself. If your going through struggles that no one seems to understand and certainly seem to have a spiritual and cosmic connection, then this book is for you.