The Starcrossed

I doubt you ever thought of Ben Bova as a satirist, but he really has a romp in this dissection of the television industry. It's early in the 21st century (the book was written in 1975), and a struggling TV network makes a desperate decision to go 3D with a new space opera called "The Starcrossed." The producer is a dissipated loser who happened to produce the ONLY series that his network didn't cancel in the previous season. The male lead is a limping, used-up hockey star whose ailments, and his quebecois accent, sort of detract from his heroic deeds. I won't even begin to describe the lady lead! Use your imagination. It's not really a science-fiction novel, except in that it takes place in the near-future, but it will leave you howling with laughter at the utter ineptitude of its characters, and the low-grade mentality that pervades their chosen industry.

"The Starcrossed" is a wildly satirical look at the entertainment industry, telling a true story with a thin veneer of science-fiction flavoring. Author Ben Bova was involved in the early 1970s as the technical consultant for a science-fiction television series called "The Starlost," which was based on a premise by science-fiction author and all-around rakehell Harlan Ellison. A number of boneheaded executive decisions, cost-cutting and general ineptitude on the staff's part led both Bova and Ellison to quit the show, which has gained a reputation in science-fiction circles as a virtually unwatchable mess. Bova - normally a "hard" science fiction writer - seems to have been trying to expunge some bad karma with "The Starcrossed," and produced one of the most enjoyable satires in the genre. In the near future, volatile, blacklisted Hollywood writer Ron Gabriel (representing Ellison) is trying to sell his idea of a spaceborne Romeo and Juliet series; engineer Bill Oxnard (representing Bova) is trying to raise funding for his laboratory on the strength of a new, static-and-flicker-free 3D television system. When a struggling studio picks up Gabriel's story premise as a testbed vehicle for Oxnard's flicker-free 3D, the avalanche starts as various studio forces try their best to scuttle the show while, at the same time in circular logic fashion, try to make money off it. Wooden actors, slashed budgets, scripts from Canadian high school students, hookers-turned-starlets, a director snorting drugs and mob financing sunk into sports betting trap Gabriel and Oxnard in a "damned-if-they-do, damned-if-they-don't" scenario. "The Starcrossed" is at its very best when Gabriel and Oxnard are battling the forces of cinematic evil, such as Oxnard trying patiently to explain to Canadian modelmakers what is and isn't necessary on a starship - only to find later that a big, useless sailing-ship tilling wheel has been installed on the ship's "bridge" by order of the studio boss because he thinks it looks neat. The only real disappointment for me was the final chapter, which seems a little weak and rushed, as though the author was trying to wrap things up in a set amount of pages and was running out of room. All in all, "The Starcrossed" is a very enjoyable read, especially for those science-fiction fans who can spot all the in-jokes sprinkled throughout.