Self-Forgiveness Handbook

the guy was a little silly to me, but the message he speaks improved and became something of great value. i have read other books that prepared me for self-reflection and change, some important ones being 'bonds that make us free' by c. terry warner and 'non-violent communication' by marshall rosenberg. this book helped me to recognize some thought voices that had been directing alot of my distorted belief system and giving me much grief in the cycle of guilt, shame and anger. it's so freeing to be able to separate myself from those hurts and subsequent choices that lead to further separation from myself and my needs and beliefs. this book helped in that process. i was abit primed for this stuff, and almost thought it didn't have anything to offer me at first. then i started realizing other ways that our 'should monsters' work, ie. defenses against others, feeling a need to protect oneself, etc. yet i have the feeling that it could be easy to follow for most people, and used to reach deeper places inside, depending on the need. you can be who you want to be.

Have you ever read a self-help book that actually changed your life for the better? I have read dozens, but the change only lasted for about two weeks. Thom Rutledge's The Self-Forgiveness Handbook: A Practical and Empowering Guide is refreshing among self-help material, because the change in my life has been long lasting. The Self-Forgiveness Handbook is packed with insight that guides us from self-criticism to self-compassion. Unlike other self-help books that dwell on explanations of how we became so in need of self-help and devote only a few chapters at the end of the book to actually changing, Thom's book provides us with practical and easy to remember techniques from page one. This means that we start changing from day one. As Thom takes us from where we are to where we want to be, the laughing never stops. His unique sense of humor lives throughout the entire book. Not only did I smile as I turned the pages, but I felt as if I was simply having a conversation with Thom. I suggest that you read The Self-Forgiveness Handbook if you want to feel better about yourself and your life - for a lifetime. Jenni Schaefer, author of Life Without Ed: How One Woman Declared Independence from her Eating Disorder and How You Can Too (McGraw-Hill)

Forgiveness is a concept more often associated with spirituality than with psychology, or at least that's how it used to be. Increasingly --- over the past twenty-five or thirty years --- the line of demarcation between spirituality and psychology has blurred. For the purist from either discipline this may be disturbing. The traditionally trained psychotherapist's world is contaminated with the introduction of spiritual concepts (especially those that defy rational explanation) such as soul, God, and forgiveness. For the deeply religious, the insistence on scientific principle associated with psychological theory, not to mention the tendency to not necessarily honor mother and father, can be offensive.In as much as the two disciplines can still be distinguished from one another, this is a book of psychology --- specifically, an exploration of the psychology of the relationship of the Self with the Self. For some readers, this will quite naturally involve their spirituality, but there is no prerequisite belief system to benefit from the Self-Forgiveness Handbook. All that is required is a desire to feel better about yourself and your life.Too often, self-help books dwell predominantly on the explanations of how we became so . . . well, in need of self-help books, and then devote only a few chapters (toward the end of the book) about how we might recover from our now well-understood dysfunction. I want The Self-Forgiveness Handbook to be of practical use to you beginning with page one, chapter one. I want this book to be a box of tools you can learn to use --- with practice --- to make a real difference in your life. Please let me know what you think.

This book goes a very long way in helping you change your unrelenting standards that you set for yourself. It gives you the tools and tell you how to use them. The metaphors help make sense of the information. I think Thom Rutledge must have spent some time inside my head.

What I like about Thom's book is you can see he has also gone thru listening to all the negative mind chatter you sometimes tell yourself. And he has found clever metaphors to described solutions to re-training your chatter. Or as he put it, learning to talk back to the "Should Monster" (you should have done this or that..) Learning to acknowledge that you thought it but then ask useful questions. I would highly recommend this book, for anyone with addictions or just plain bad self-talk...It will teach you new ways to start talking positive to yourself, A highly uplifting book yet put you to work on some great excercises to change those habits. A refreshing book!