Self-Calmed Baby

The three books that helped make our parenting more successful and joyful were: Dr. Richard Ferber's, How To Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems; Dr. William Sammons, I Wanna Do It Myself; and his book, The Self-Calmed Baby. Thanks to Ferber and Sammons, both endorsed by Dr. T. Berry Brazleton, each of my three babies was sleeping through the night within the first month of life. And before you say "Well, but I breastfeed, so...," I nursed my babies for one year each. I just made sure they got as much as they could possibly need or want during the daytime, and until late at night. As a result, they were cheerful, well adjusted,... and so were we parents. Sammons' ideas on self-calming, self-entertaining,... are some of the best skills you can teach you children, and they will benefit from them for a lifetime, in ways that you might not foresee as a new parent. My children are now, 8, 11, and 13 years old, and would not be the same without my having read those three books. They are very confident, affectionate, creative, imaginative, independent,...to a greater extent than they likely would have been without the books. If you don't like a piece of advice here or there, tailor it to your child and situation, so long as it's effective. Teaching or allowing a child to be independent doesn't mean there is or should be any less affection, as some seem to interpret 'independence'. Your child will know that you are always there for them, and ready to guide or help them, as well as to share in the joy of their successes, whether it's her first time clicking her tongue on the roof of her mouth at 10 months, or getting the lead in a play at 10 years. Best of luck to All.

I'm prompted to write to rebut the other reviews. This book takes the revolutionary view that one of a baby's major tasks is to learn how to deal with stimuli, and that it is important to identify what is bothering your baby and then set up your baby's world so that she has the best chance of trying to calm herself. It explicitly recognizes that babies are different and so what bothers one baby (being swaddled, for example) may not bother another - and gives lots of suggestions about what might be the problem and what might help your baby feel more comfortable with his world. This was a very helpful approach for me to read so that I could keep experimenting with what I was doing, rather than relying on (and getting discouraged by) the same old tired advice.I completely disagree that this advice goes against a mother's instincts. Every mother wants to help her child. Some mothers may want to try to do this by holding their child all the time. I have no problem with that. What this book says, however, is that some *babies* may not want to be held all the time: in fact, it may be overstimulating to them to be bounced, rocked, sung to, and soothed - so much so that, in a state where they are constantly trying to deal with these stimuli, they never are able to figure out how to settle down. If you have this kind of baby, who somehow persists in being unhappy despite your best efforts, then this book is for you to help you figure out how to help better. If you are offended by the proposition that the baby somehow has tastes of his own that mean that he doesn't happen to like what you are doing for him for moments at a time, then this book is not for you. It is the most compassionate book I found toward the baby and toward the new parents, in the sense that it tries to provide concrete suggestions to help a baby and relieves a new parent of some of the guilt and nervousness that comes from thinking that a baby's happiness depends only on them. Something of a baby's happiness depends on the baby! Far from being detached from research, this book adopted the premise (which has gained even more currency since its publication) that babies know a lot more than we think and start trying from birth to make sense of their worlds. This book takes the attitude that parents can do a lot to help them along. If you can find a copy of this book, give it a try. Don't be deterred by reviews from people who didn't seem to get the message...make up your own tired mind.

My first baby could naturally self calm and my second could not. Now that I'm pregnant with my third, I read this book and saw all the things I could have done better with my second child, who to this day needs my help to go to sleep. My life could have been easier that first year if I had read this book then. The author brings in alot of research and real people into why and how to teach your baby to self-calm. If you read and follow the directions in this book I believe you could have a wonderful first year with your new baby.

I was recommended this book by our pediatrician when our son was born. Having already read many books to prepare myself for motherhood, I was skeptical at first by the content. I applied the methods that were outlined in the book and was amazed to see that I could still be an excellent mother and give the baby his space to calm himself down. He has consistenly slept through the night since he was 7 weeks old (now 6 months)and I am daily reminded by strangers who come in contact with him how well-adjusted and comfortable he is. Since every parent has their individual belief about what is right for their child, I usually wait until I see my friends in a frenzy over "trying everything to get their baby to calm down" and then I quietly pass along the book. I believe this book reminds parents that sometimes they need to be less controlling while still attending to the vital needs of their baby (feeding, comforting, nurturing). I am thankful this book was given to me very early in my child's life. I think it has made our family all self-calm a bit!

How do you say thank you to someone who teaches you to learn about YOUR baby. How to notice the little things that matter so much to them at the time, and everyone in the end. I just wish every doctor knew of this and shared it with ALL their patients. The other methods that tell you to let your baby cry (for however long it may be) just don't address the part of "WHY" your baby may be crying. He teaches you how to find out why your baby is crying. And gives you some choices on how to deal with things like sleeplessness, fussiness, overstimulation, and seemingly endless nursing. My son was getting "colicky" around 3wks of age and nursing every hour, and only sleeping 2 hrs at a time at night. Within two days of getting this book, th colic was gone, and were on a solid 3hr schedule round the clock. 2 weeks later, when I finished the book, he gave up his 2am feeding the very next night after we tried it. and a week after that the 5am feeding stretched to 6am and now is 7am. And going to bed has gone from 11pm to 9:30 pm. My son rarely cries, and I never have to walk the floors, sleep with the vaccuum cleaner on or rock till I drop. I tried thos things prior to the book and things only got worse not better. You will never regret buying this book. I've bought it for all my friends as baby shower gifts and tell every woman I meet on the street with a baby about it. And also the hospital where I gave birth. Dr. Sammons is worth his weight in GOLD. Michelle