The Secret Lives of Men: What Men Want You to Know about Love, Sex, and Relationships

Christopher Blazina is not only an expert on the topic of male psychology ("The Cultural Myth of Masculinity"), but he also is a fine communicator on the written page. This book, THE SECRET LIVES OF MEN: What Men Want You to Know About Love, Sex, and Relationships', is not the usual self-help book that increasing crowds the shelves of bookstores: this is a book intended for a broader audience, that audience including everyone who needs to understand the 'male mentality' - boys, students, men caught in a line of unsuccessful relationships, women who fail to understand the 'male approach to intimacy', couples struggling with seemingly irreconcilable differences, psychologists, social workers, and the curious reader. Where Blazina succeeds is where so many other authors stumble: Blazina writes in a conversational manner, keeping his information and data very centered in current time, and offers not only valuable insights but also drives his points of explanation home with a very useful series of Chapter Cues that keep the reader aligned with his step by step pattern of 'enlightenment'. Captured in this book are Blazina's 'Ten Commandments of Growing Up Male', a section that lays the matrix for his further chapters on understanding the privacy of men's 'secret shoebox' of intimate feelings and thoughts, methods of learned (and an offer to re-learn) communication that leads to a more satisfying sex life, raising sons to be free from the extraneous prejudice of manhood, how men cope with the inevitable 'curse' of aging, and how to nurture men who are growing out of the confines of 'inherited' macho delusions. Blazina takes major steps forward from the usual prejudices and impressions and instead concentrates on offering ways in which both men and women, children and adults, can better understand the male mind. This all may sound a bit like a rerun of 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus', but the good Dr. Blazina is far better an instructor and has more in depth of knowledge that is focused on dealing with understanding and resolution rather than mere labeling. He simply writes very well, and he obviously cares about sharing his experience in his chosen field with an audience very much in need of his insights. Grady Harp, March 09.