The Same But Different: How Twins Can Live, Love, and Learn to Be Individuals

Ok random mutterings... If you are a parent of twins, if you know twins, if you are a twin... .This book is just fantastic. Really. Finally. Some, no... all of the validation put into words for those people with siblings born as twins, multiples. Starting with renaming twins and multiples to... "same age siblings". That was huge. That is all it is? Normal Siblings born on the same day? So...They look alike? So do the neighbors kids and there are 8 of them! Change the way we see twins, and change the way twins get to live in society. It is an absolute must read... for twins, triplets, octuplets, ... with or without your sibling...for non twins too for understanding. This book has helped me personally to figure out how living my life as a twin in THIS society... has shaped most of my relationships throughout my life. It helped me see that negative behaviors typical of same age siblings, such as, control issues, blame games, sharing blame, attention games, sharing everything, competition, comparing, codependancy, hidden feelings, bitterness etc... all of it can creep into any relatuonship where space is shared ofer a long period of time. (Usually after a marriage lets just say haha) This book goes over how being born as a twin shapes the way we form bonds with other peers including friends, jobs, spouses. It gives a description to the longing of something missing, no one quite understanding , no one getting it, the guilt of wanting to say you want your own space without saying you don't love them. Or wanting them to move on but missing the connection when they do. Also, helps with the expectations from singles, to questions from strangers, to finding identity, to being understood AND understanding yourself. Ok super fun book. Also suggested reading ... "unlocking the secrets of your childhood memories" by Dr Kevin Leman and Randy Carlson. This was also an amazing book at HOW our tiny baby computer brains are "programmed" as kids. And how easy we can "reprogram" our own brains with new information we've gathered over the years. Anyhow... both are amazing books if you're looking for an outside look at "twins" in society from a therapist who works with twins specifically.