The Remarkable Millard Fillmore: The Unbelievable Life of a Forgotten President

Pull on your nightcap, drop an extra marshmallow in your cocoa and plump a fresh pillow for teddy - bedtime will never be the same again! If you crave a little excitement before your nine hours of the dreamless then I wholeheartedly recommend Pendle's hilarious romp through one of the more obscure backwaters of American history as the perfect nightcap. This is rib-tickling, tummy-tingling writing of the highest caliber - a rollicking boys-own rampage through the ludicrous life of the unlucky 13th president of the USA. You will be utterly, unutterably delighted by some of the scrapes and japes that beset Fillmore in a playful commentary that will have you wiping the tears from your eyes (tears of joy, such a refreshing change). Stop reading this review and buy it now (I said stop reading).

George Pendle has managed literary alchemy turning a dull base president into gold. He writes so well that each sentence is a masterpiece of surrealist wordsmithery. One could be forgiven for being distracted or even dismissive of the footnotes, but they are as much part of the picture as the main text, and had me laughing out loud regularly. There are flavours of monty python ridiculousness, the flashman novels and the language skills of will self - i eagerly await this author's next offering.

George Pendle's biography is, without doubt, the closest we will get to knowing the real Millard Fillmore, as opposed to the dull and forgettable man who has been handed down to us by generations of blinkered historians. The decisive role which Fillmore played in world affairs cannot help but make riveting reading. Unfortunately such excellent results have not come without their cost. Mr. Pendle's theft of the Millard Fillmore archive from the Aka pygmies of Northern Uganda represents a thoroughly unpleasant turn for the worse in the genre of presidential biography. As Mr. Pendle describes in his book, the Aka pygmies are extremely sensitive to cloth binding, worshipping as they do the great god Binda, Supreme Lord of Cloth-Backed Books. For over a century the diaries of Millard Fillmore - deposited in their care during the former president's search for the source of the Nile - acted as the representation of their deity on earth. That Mr. Pendle chose to steal these sacred objects (although he deceitfully suggests in his book that the diaries were purchased from the Aka) only goes to show the depths minor historical biographers will sink to in their lust for fame and glory. If anyone is aware of the location of the Fillmore archive at present, or indeed of Mr. Pendle's whereabouts, perhaps they would be kind enough to alert either me, or ICAPP (the International Council for the Assistance of Pygmy Peoples).

As the author of the comic novel, "Millard Fillmore, Mon Amour," (in which my protagonist puts forth the theory that our 13th President may have been gay) I heartily applaud George Pendle's vivid, if mostly fabricated, appraisal of America's most forgotten president. His book is hilarious, and confirms what most historians already agree upon -- that the most noteworthy aspect of Fillmore's political career was its complete lack of noteworthiness. (Although, in terms of competence, I would gladly take Fillmore over George W. Bush any day) Perhaps between my novel and Pendle's amusing take on the subject, we can improve the general perception of Fillmore's political career from grossly pathetic to just flagrantly inept. If successful, this Herculean effort might just raise Fillmore's presidency to the lofty position in history now enjoyed by such celebrated statesmen as James K. Polk, Franklin Pierce and Chester A. Arthur.