The Passion Paradox: Patterns of Love and Power in Intimate Relationships

As a Relationship Coach, I suggest that all my clients purchase this book and keep reading it over and over until it truly sinks in. Whether you are happily married, in a troubled relationship, or single looking for a mate, reading this book is a MUST! I agree with another customer's review that you can throw away the rest of the relationship books in your library and keep this one close at hand. The Passion Trap is the genesis, IMO, where all relationships start failing. Other books (and I've read many) on relationships may hone in on this or that issue and offer advice for remedies, but this book starts at the bedrock level of troubled relationships. It is almost spooky how this dynamic works in all relationships. One of the partners is always more invested than the other which keeps the relationship out of balance . . . one wanting more, one wanting to run. Read The Passion Trap, and begin to recognize how this dynamic is working in your relationship . . . before it's too late. :)

In my library, I have about 400 books on psychology of relationships. I didn't expect this book to add much more to what I already had, or knew. Was I wrong! This book is the best analysis of the self-defeating dynamics that destroy love relationships -- and delivered in such an accessible, well-written mannner that one cannot put it down. I stayed up two nights in a row reading it until 4 a.m., and wished I didn't have to go to sleep at all. How I wish I came across this book a long time ago. As earlier reviewers stated, this should be required reading in high school (though this book is for all ages) -- it would save people so much heart-ache, depression, and divorces, if they understood ahead of time what undermines relationships between love partners. The book is at its best when it descibes power imbalances that occur between people; it gets a little weaker later on when the authour tries to categorize people by giving them labels (e,g, "Loner", "Punisher", etc.) Real life can be a little more complicated than that (i.e., some people combine many characteristics, and are too complex to fit in just one category). But that didn't diminish my total admiration for this book. I may get rid of some of my other books in the future to make room for new ones, but the Passion Trap will stay with me forever. I will be sharing it with my grandchildren if I have any...

If you read this book,your life will never be the same.True insight to relationships and problems are hard to come by,and this one just hit the mark.It is really a terrific book.Too bad I read it after it was a little bit too late to know what was going on in my marriage of 20 years.I just did not understand what hit us,and the problem is I think there is still a chance of renewal.I think the book should be updated,because if it happens like in my case,then what can you do about it.Maybe a consultation with Dr.Delis might be helpful.Thank you.

I just came across this book by accident at a thrift shop. It's unebelievable that it's out of print! This book, in very simple terms, offers an explanation for just about every romantic trouble -- the imbalance between partners. I looked at "Relationship Rescue," yet another new psychobabble book on the block and there's no comparison. Where McGraw gives you "men are this way, women are that way, deal with it," Delis offers real insights on what and how power imbalances occur and even points out that those in gender stereotyped relationships are actually prone to more problems! I'm divorced and have had my share of breakups -- this book nails every single one of my previous relationships. As one previous reviewer wrote, this should be mandatory reading in high school.Bring this book back into print!

I cannot believe this book is not still around. I have read it, and most of the people I know have read it. We all had the same reaction. WOW! Brilliant book.