The Parent You Want to Be: Who You Are Matters More Than What You Do

This book gets to the root of most parenting issues, I think. Although parenting techniques have some value, the book suggests that who you are will speak over the techniques you use. Even if you "do the right thing", you will end up communicating what is in your heart through the means. By becoming the parent you want to be, you can communicate important traits to your children through your behavior...it seems a lot more natural than following step-by-step directions. The book is quite practical (although it isn't a parenting technique book) and down-to-earth. It has small chapters and thought-provoking questions. It will help you to feel better about the things you are good at and it will encourage you in doing better at the things you are not so great at. I enjoyed the book and I think it has given me a lot of hope for my future as a parent.

This book is marvelous! It is a much-needed addition to the evangelical parenting literature. I highly recommend it! If you're a mom like me, you've found the evangelical parenting literature to be pretty frustrating. God commands us to love our children, yet parenting books by evangelical authors tend to focus on discipline. Yes, discipline is important. But, more than anything, I desire a practical primer on how to nurture my children. The Parrotts provide just such a book. They begin by pointing out that children learn from the example that parents set. They then identify ten traits that most parents will want to model for their children. Specifically, parents are encouraged to be affirming, patient, attentive, visionary, connected, celebratory, authentic, comforting, insightful, and prayerful. In addition to identifying these ten traits, the Parrotts provide concrete strategies for modeling each trait. Here is where the book is pure gold. Both authors are gifted psychologists who successfully filter the best techniques and research in the secular parenting literature (e.g., emotion coaching and active listening) through a Christian grid. In addition to offering specific how-to advice, the authors provide numerous useful examples from their own parenting experiences. Within ten minutes of finishing this book, I was applying the material it contained. I recommend reading this book along with Tim Kimmel's Grace Based Parenting. Kimmel casts a beautiful vision by encouraging parents to show their children the same grace that God shows them. The Parrotts explain how to make that vision a reality.

I got this book to review as a possibility for our couples small group study, but found myself not being able to put it down. The book gently leads readers to reflect on ten traits worth considering to becoming the parent you want to be and then focus on the top two. I have to admit, I have more than two that I want to work on personally, but because of the authors' no-guilt guidance, humor and encouragement, I know I can do it! Great book for all parents in any stage of parenting and it will be a wonderful book for our small group discussions.

So many parenting books are full of a guilt trip. Due to either the content or the fact that you could never actually finish the book because you are busy parenting! This book was different. It was easy to read with practical wisdom to really help a busy parent evaluate their priorities. Thank you!

I just received my copy of The Parent You Want To Be and couldn't put it down until I finished reading it. As the Mother of 4 daughters this book put parenting into perspective. It was easy to read and made me do a lot of thinking about my priorities. It is a great book for anyone with children. I highly recommend it!