The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work

This is the BEST relationship book that I would recommend people read no matter if you are in a good, solid relationship and want to keep it that way, in a rocky relationship that you'd like to improve, or just thinking about someday being in a relationship. In fact, it is excellent even for those who are not going to be married - just socially interacting with other human beings!! Written by Terrence Real (a family therapist, who also specializes in male depression) this book certainly makes MY FRIENDS MUST READ list. Chapters are divided and activities arranged in such a way that individuals can work thru the book on their own (and see true positive changes in their relationships - with partners or friends) OR you can work thru it as a couple in addition to individual work. Real does makes some inaccurate statements about feminism and the feminist movements in our country, but I guess no book can be perfect and not everyone has background education in Women's Studies. :)

If you are serious about your relationship, and both interested in learning your limitations, this is an exceptional resource. The author describes the difference between men (who retreat into their caves to avoid intimacy and work on problems) and women (who retreat into anger to avoid problems and end up limiting initimacy). Becoming self aware is an essential aspect of operating in the world, if we are willing to be honest about our behaviors we can become more functional. I also listened to the Audio version of the book and it was much more informative to hear the examples and conversations in this format. Having a tendency to drift when I read such examples, hearing them was better. The behaviors identified, practices provided, and exercises are well worth the effort. We don't expect ourselves to be trained in our occupations, why is it we expect that we will be perfectly skilled to succeed in relationship? It takes learning, and enough esteem to realize we don't know everything about making it work. This is a great start to intimate health.

Terrence Real hits the nail right on the head! I've been trying to bring my husband into the 21st century and therefore had been focusing solely on his problems. The New Rules Of Marriage opened my eyes to the things both of us need to learn and practice in order to get out of our old way of dealing with conflict and to be able to move on to the next level. This book is fantastic.

Many of us come into life without any tools in our toolbox. Why? Our parents had very few tools to pass on to us. This book is full of tools and ways to keep your relationship honest and alive. I have read all of the author's other books and this one is just as good. I keep them all around for reference when I haven't loaned them out to a friend in need. Highly recommended read...

This is not just another self-help book that will give you more tips and good ideas that you won't be able to implement. This is the book that will take you right to the core of what creates struggle in marriages and relationships, and help you fix yours step by step. The work this book lays out is not easy, but will lead you to happy relationship, as I can personally attest. I am making this book required reading for all my clients and am planning to use it as workbook to help them put their relationships and marriages back on the right track. Get it, study it and you will see what I mean.