The Myth of Monogamy: Fidelity and Infidelity in Animals and People

My recommendation is simple. I kept forgetting that it was a factual work, it was so entertaining. I thought I had picked up one of my pleasure reads! Thanks to both of the writers, what a great book. I need to read it again.

Keep that notion in mind as you follow the authors on their marvelous tour of sexual behaviour in all nature. Most of us were raised with the notion that humans "must" be monogamous. Often, animals such as swans or foxes were held up as examples to emulate. Barash and Lipton expose the hollow basis of these examples. The notion of human monogamy becomes a fragile ideal - nature, and we are part of nature, is anything but monogamous. In a book combining solid science and entertaining prose, this pair have produced an informal, but information-packed review of new finds in the sexual behaviour of a wealth of species. One small flaw must be dealt with first - sexual behaviour studies must retreat from overuse of the poor screw-worm fly. The authors cannot resist numerous word plays on the poor creature's name. As the subject of an early attempt at controlling pest populations, the screw-worm fly initiated the host of studies of sexual behaviour among animals. Barash and Lipton describe sterilization of this insect as largely successful, reducing its population significantly. Screw-worm flies are monogamous, which reinforced the notion as predominant in nature. However, a 1970s groundbreaking paper indicated monogamy might not be universal in animals. From that start a wealth of new studies demonstrated that it was monogamy that was rare, not the reverse. The screw-worm fly turned out to be a rare exception to the rule, and the basis of comparison for the later research. Bowing to the expected abuse of "anthropomorphising" biology, the authors eschew "adultry" in favour of EPC [Extra Pair Copulation] in describing the common practice in nature. They show the distinction between "social" and "sexual" pairing. Social pairing includes nest building, territorial defence, raising offspring and other "family matters." Copulation itself, they show, has many more factors involved than simply insemination. Mates must be available, attractive or both. Age, health, even "marital status" may be taken into consideration. And these factors are weighed for "adultery" in animals! Males might need a special physiology or the ability to prevent EPC, even while seeking to achieve it on their own. As they must, the authors arrive at last at humans. Noting how difficult research on human sexual behaviour is to document, they cite, albeit with many reservations, several noteworthy studies. If nothing else, the work proclaims that monogamy among humans is not the "norm." In relating the studies, they present anthropological data, surveys of modern societies and clinical studies. The authors grind no axes and are quick to criticise studies they feel are suspect. The dearth of valid data, however, leads them to present any plausible suggestion that seems either supportable or capable of further investigation. Throughout the narrative they insist that no predictable pattern can be applied to humans any more than with the other animals. Even our close

What I mean by "Truth is revealed, the choice is ours", is the theme of this review. It is also the message in the book, although many readers have misinterpreted the entire theme, believing the co-authors, David P. Barash and Judith E. Lipton, are simply feeding us hard reality and crushing dreams of blissful and faithful marriage. David and Judith are experienced, older scientists, specializing in the observation of birds and apes, with a profound understanding of logic, human emotions, sociobiology and biology in general. They both hold high degrees- Judith has an M.D. and David holds a Ph.D. It is noteworthy, also, that they are a happily married couple and have been so for many years. Their real message and theme from this outstanding book is that although by nature, humans are generally not faithful to their long-term mate (spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend), we have evolved so much that we can chose to be faithful and monogamous to our partner and truly be satisfied, fulfilled and completely happy. Monogamy is not extinct, it is rare. Half of all marriages end in divorce. When a couple has been together for many years, it's world news. It is the greatest partnership, relationship, union, and the most peaceful, happiest and fullest feeling. But it is always the individual's choice. If a partner cannot remain faithful, we now have a reason and explanation for it.The reason why so many find it difficult to be faithful to their partner for a long time, is biological. Originally, before an evolved society with its ground rules grew from primitive communism, the homo sapien men were polygamous, especially because genetically, nature demanded variety from their offspring. Incest, of course, was formerly practiced to keep a family bloodline, true even to the highest societies, royal dynasties of ancient Egypt, etc. There was a time when free will seemed to bother no one, and men had many wives, shared partners and even shared land. But eventually, power and property was established, much like class systems, and it came to be a violation when someone "outside" the group took one of the wives from another male. Feeling of jealousy and ownership were established and so, when religion began to take over people's consciousness, they labeled this "taking", "adultery". The biological needs of women are important in the scene, as well, in fact, perhaps the most important link. Women's sex cells contain life-giving ovum, enabling them to bear children, and because they are so few and rare in them, they are selective about their sexual/romantic/etc partners. They are far more choosy because it is going to reflect on the ensuing progeny, their children. Men's sperm is abundant and cheap, and they are less selective. It's all down to our biological make-up. This book is very casual about the whole matter and contains not only very scientifically accurate truth, but very genuine humor and witty lines, making reading this book very enjoyable.This book is very insig

Monogamy is a sensitive, yet alluring, subject from both a biological and sociological standpoint. Ever since the founding of sociobiology by people like Edward Wilson, scientists (among many others) have been intrigued by the thought of just how dominant our genetic code is with respect to our behavior, as compared to the dominance of society's enforcement of it's contrived morals. Wilson once stated that culture is on a leash held by Genes, and one could claim equally that our genes are on a leash held by society. This book is a delightfully written perspective that deals with the intersection of those two powers in a way that is both enlightened and nonjudgemental.The authors give an excellent review of how genetic fingerprinting has dispelled the here-to-fore assumed monagamy of a host of different animal species, and quote a number of respectable studies in the process. The astounding and outstanding result is the realization of just how rare it is to find any animal species that is totally monogamous in nature, and humans are animals that happen to not be totally monogamous---by their very "nature". This begs the question "is adultery therefore natural, and hence forgivable?" Will Durant once adressed this issue by noting that many of our current vices were once indispensable virtues in the struggle for survival, and in keeping with this observation, it would seem reasonable to posit the idea that humans havent had enough time to evolve biologically or culturally beyond certain genetic features that have outlived their primal usefulness, and yet continue to stubbornly hang on--despite societal taboos. "Myth of Monogamy" is a book that helps to highlight that struggle without presuming to tell the reader what their ultimate conclusions should be. As such it remains to its end a fairly objective look at a very sensitive subject.Finally, and gratefully, this book is well written, with generous amounts of humor thrown in to keep the reader's attention, and perhaps to help him or her to maintain a healthy perspective throughout their reading of it---I actually laughed out loud several times, which I cant say is all that common when reading a scientific text.. This is a thoroughly enjoyable read.

In this book, authors Lipton and Barash take a look at mating patterns throughout the animal kingdom (though they seem to spend more time on behavior in birds than on other animals). The conclusions they draw can be anticipated from the title -- that monogamy is not natural, at least based on biological, physiological, anthropological, and other evidence, and in fact is not as widely practiced as once thought. However, this is not to say, as some reviewers seem to think, that they believe that monogamy is thereby unnatural. In fact, in one place they say, "...even if human beings were more rigidly controlled by their biology, it would be absurd to claim that monogamy is unnatural or abnormal, especially since it was doubtless the way most people lived..." (p. 153) And later on, they affirm that "human inclinations may be able to fit whatever matrimonial pattern happens to exist in the society they happen to experience." But monogamy does go against the grain of human nature, according to the authors, and so you have to work at it. A delightful aspect of the book is its humor. For example: "Nothing succeeds, we are told, like success. And indeed, social success...succeeds mightily when it comes to securing extra-pair copulations. (Maybe this is what Henry Kissinger meant when he noted that 'power is the best aphrodisiac.')"All in all, this is a very provocative book. Because it draws a conclusion that goes against the grain of our culture's (though not all human cultures') norms, some people may find it offensive (as seen from other reviews). But the authors make their case convincingly (their case being that monogamy doesn't come naturally to human beings, but that doesn't mean that it can't be done) and it would be hard to refute their argument based on the evidence of evolutionary biology, which is the framework in which they are operating. Like any book, you shouldn't take other people's opinions at face value. Read the book and judge for yourself.