The Mom I Want to Be: Rising Above Your Past to Give Your Kids a Great Future

The Mom I Want to Be is different from the other "mothering" books I've read. Eller tells her story of a dysfunctional family life and how she has overcome it to be a successful, loving mother. If you had a less-than-wonderful childhood or even if you simply struggle with minor pain from your past, you'll want to read this book. It's a vivid portrayal of the effects of our words and actions as parents can have on our children. It's also a touching story of how these hurts can be overcome.

When I look at the cover of this book, the title says it all: The Mom I Want to Be. I want to be like the mom pictured on this cover, smiling happily with her children at the beach. She's beautiful, her kids are dressed in adorable clothes, there's an ocean in the background. Everyone looks ecstatic. But the reality of motherhood is that I don't live anywhere near the beach! I've got piles of laundry to wash, sticky floors to mop, dinner to cook, and toys to put away. T. Suzanne Eller's book gave me a refreshing view of how to focus on the positives of mothering. Through doing so, we can discover the deep joy God longs for each of us. Eller's childhood wasn't perfect, and her book contains memories of pain. Yet she wrote it with the blessings of her own mother, whose journal entries provide readers a glimpse of what was going on in her mother's life while she was raising her family. Each chapter contains a journaling section, with questions to help readers work through issues in their own lives.There is also a handy leader's guide in the back, to aid anyone desiring to gather a group of women for a book study. Chapters such as "The Power of Perspective," "Setting Boundaries," and "Becoming a Risk-Taker" will inspire women to be the best mom they can be: not perfect, but full of the deep joy that comes from making peace with the past and moving forward with hope.

This is an inspiring book that is helping me become the mother that I have always wanted to be. Every mother has questions and insecurities. I am one of those moms. I am so glad that I took the time to read this book. It helped me look inward and find not only confidence in myself as a mother but confidence in my relationship with the Lord. This book has helped me grow as a person and as a mother.

The Birth to Five Book: Confident Childrearing Right from the Start Ohmygoodness, I relate to this book! It pulled on my heartstrings. Like many readers, I wanted to be a good mom; to parent better than I received. Of course my parents had loving intentions, but like the author, I "experienced dysfunction and know how it feels to want to get on with life but still feel trapped." Counseling helped me identify conscious or less-than-conscious parenting patterns that could be injurious to my children. I truly believe all parents WANT to be good parents, some lack the skills or are themselves weighed down and stagnated by an injured inner child. This amazing book offers thoughts and direction to overcome hurtful memories and improve your parenting skills. It is positive and liberating. Page 62 says, "Your memories can be obstacles, or they can be lifelines to others seeking answers. Your memories can be chains, or they can be keys to changing your response to your own children." I submit that painful memories can even affect you on a less-than-conscious level. I appreciate that the author writes with tenderness toward her family; she doesn't "bad mouth" or disrespect her parents and even includes her mother's reflections, which gives the reader a different perspective. I recommend this book for personal or group study. Be the mom you want to be...read this book for your kids' sake. Give them healthy, happy memories!

The slogan goes, "Perfect people need not apply." It's the same with motherhood. Suddenly you are thrust into the role (well, normally after nine months). What type of mother will you be and how can you avoid the pitfalls and improve on the actions of your own mother? Suzie Eller has faced these types of questions head on with her practical and well-written book. At the end of each chapter, readers can apply the material to their own lives with some spaces for writing. Also a leader guide is included to promote small group discussion. I loved the tone of this book and here's an example from the introduction: "I don't pretend to have all the answers, but I will share my story and the truths I've discovered along the way. Rather than try to speak as an expert, I want to connect with you as someone who 'gets it.' I've experienced dysfunction, and I know how it feels to want to get on with life but still feel trapped. I know what it is to pick up the past over and over again and even to use it punitively. I know what it is to pray and hope for better for my own children and family. And now I know how amazing it feels to lay down the past by offering forgiveness and replacing hurtful memories with brand new thoughts and direction." Or here's another small portion deep inside the book (page 125) in the chapter "Becoming a Risk-Taker" Suzie presents three principles for the reader to consider: 1. You don't have to try to be anyone but yourself. 2. When you accept who you are, you are more accepting of others. 3. When you take calculated risks, you discover talents and facets of your personality waiting to be developed. Use the contents of this book to give your own journey as a mom a huge boost.