Mirages of Marriage

My mother read this book when it was first published in 1968 and recommended it to me when I became disillusioned by my own marriage in the early 1980's. (My mother was widowed in 1961 and had a difficult time coming to terms with the meaning of marriage and widowhood as a young mother.) It offers timeless concepts and wisdom that all spouses should study and understand and later impart to their children. Had I read this book before getting married, I may have prevented much heartache as my ex-husband and I were simply incompatible - based on how compatibility is described and defined by Lederer. I have since lost my copy, but would considering purchasing another copy for the benefit of my daughter, who is desperately trying to navigate the waters of the dating world as a young adult. Perhaps this book could help stop the cycle in our family of consistently choosing and marrying the wrong person!

I highly recommend this book to anyone who is thinking aboutmarrying. In fact, the best time to read it is before youbegin dating seriously, as opposed to just socializing withthe other gender. It will make it possible for you to spotunsuitable people and break it off before the trouble comes.Be warned, however: The book is going to contradict all ofthe TV hype and general malarkey that passes around, and itmay at first seem disorienting. And people with oversizedegos probably will not get past the first chapter.

The last generation has seen an onslaught of pop psychology "How To" and "Fix It" books on marriage. The advice rarely deviates, and the emphasis is almost always on changing (and often leaving) the spouse. "The Mirages of Marriage" is not a book for the timid, as it examines the issues that face all marriages, in cold hard detail. One finds out that others really are like "us", thus, is what we're doing so unusual? The book is a reprint from the 1968 printing, and the advice is just as valid today. It is not "politically-correct" in the least, and is dated in some places (would love an updated version!). Overlook that and understand the message, and you'll put the book down with a contended sigh of relief knowing you're not the only ones, and there is great hope for most marriages. Kudos to the authors for being so brave....

Analyzes many of the everyday contacts we have as people. NOT JUST FOR MARITAL SITUATIONS! I read this back in the early seventies, and still feel it's one of the best books for anyone in any kind of personal relationship. Very 'down to earth' in helping get past the confusion and frustration we find in argumentative situations and everyday expectations. Especially, if you're involved in a close personal situation (or want to prepare for one), this book is a must. Great book to be able to loan to friends that are having marital/friend trouble. But, make sure you get it back!!