The Lonely Patient: How We Experience Illness

Michael Stern, M.D. has succeeded in writing a brief book that captures the isolation of someone who has been diagnosed with a serious, life threatening or terminal illness. Even more importantly, anyone who has symptoms for which there seems to be no diagnosis or relief needs to read "The Lonely Patient". It should be handed out by hospital social workers to those involved in caregiving for those afflicted. The book should also be required reading in medical schools. Dr. Stern interweaves the story of his brother-in-law stricken with a rare cancer of the sinuses with case studies of his own patients. He astutely divides his book into four parts: Betrayal, Terror, Loss and Loneliness and illustrates the doctor-patient relationship in a most enlightening manner. This is a must read in the tradition of Dr. Sherwin B. Nuland's excellent book "How We Die Reflections on Life's Final Chapter".

The Lonely Patient is a warm, deeply empathetic look at what one doctor observed about illness and human nature when he started looking at patients as full human beings experiencing the range of emotion that comes with disease and illness. Stein thought he had a good idea of what illness was like through his practice. Then his brother-in-law Richard was diagnosed with cancer. Watching Richard helped Stein make some keen observations on what illness is truly like for a patient. He also includes the stories of some of his patients that illustrate certain experiences particularly well. He sums up the overwhelming, consuming emotions experienced by the patient (jealousy, defiance, fear, anger, shame, dependency, vulnerability and loneliness) by setting out the book in four parts: Betrayal, Terror, Loss and Loneliness. I really can't recommend this book highly enough. Never before have I had the experience of feeling understood and acknowledged for the wide range of emotions I have experienced as a sick person. Not only is this a must read for patients, it is the perfect way to help your family and friends understand what you are going through.

A Crohn's patient since 1973 and a chronic pain patient since 2004, I was drawn to this title. I also buy the nonfiction books for a medium-sized library. This book would be of enormous value to all patients and physicians - should be required reading in medical school, certainly by pain specialists. For chronic pain/illness sufferers, buy your own copy so that you can underline sentences or paragraphs that you would like your family/caregivers/friends to read. It was of untold value to me to know that my loneliness (even though I have a family) was intimately understood by one person out there. Thank you, Dr. Stein.

I wonder if the negative reviews that preceded this one came from people who read the same book that I did. As one who is well-acquainted with chronic illness (Crohn's disease for 34 years, pulmonary fibrosis and Sjogren's syndrome for 20 years, fractured skull, chronic spinal problems) I think that Michael Stein has done an admirable job of naming the fear and isolation that are emotional hallmarks of the experience of serious illness. His writing is excellent, and his perceptions are empathic and insightful. I can, without reservation, recommend The Lonely Patient to anyone who is newly diagnosed or to those who want to understand the chilling, progressively dehumanizing effects of coping with a chronic, life-threatening illness.

This is a must-read for doctors, medical students, caregivers, people living with pain/disease, and people who know someone living with pain/disease. Having lived with varying degrees of pain daily for the past fifteen years or so, I found this book to be an accurate representation of what living with pain is like. Michael Stein, in his research and interviews, has been able to capture in words the experience of pain - from both the insider's and outsider's points of view. Although sometimes repetitive, Stein's stories illustrate the multifaceted world of pain and disease, and the lonliness associated with it.