The Last Time I Wore a Dress

I loved the book but it had some intresting twist and turns. Would recommend for teens and adults.

Daphne Scholinski wore the label of "inappropriate female" for much of her life. As a tomboy youth, she was often mistaken for male. On one grocery trip, a clerk caught the "boy" for using the women's restroom. When the clerk confronted Daphne's father, instead of correcting the clerk, her weary father slapped her hand: "Bad boy. I told you to stop doing that." In 1981, at odds with her raging father and abandoned by her free-thinking mother, 15-year-old Daphne was committed to a psychiatric hospital, at which a treatment plan was designed to help her identify as a "sexual female." Over one million dollars (you read that right) of insurance money was spent on three years of make-up lessons, encouragement of flirtation with males, and points for hugging male staff members. Daphne was indirectly blamed for all her family's troubles and told that her depression and confusion were symptoms of her improper gender identification. Desperate for a mothering relationship, she latched onto nurses, begging to be adopted by the most compassionate one, and attempting suicide when her efforts were rebuffed. In a series of institutions, Daphne busied herself working the system to earn more privileges. To entertain themselves, she and other patients competed to shock the staff and get unusual diagnoses added to their charts. Their every movement was already analyzed and reduced into psychobabble, so why not? Daphne often embellished alcohol and drug abuse to make her case more interesting, but she realized she was out her league when she was transferred to rehab. All the while, a host of therapists and staff failed to identify sexual assault in Daphne's life, both before and *after* entering treatment. At age 18, when Daphne's father's insurance money ran out, she was discharged as no more "appropriate" a female than when she entered, but without a traditional high school experience or preparation for the world, and a few more years of victimhood under her belt. Daphne Scholinski survived institutionalization with her intelligence, sense of humor, and sassy rebellious spirit. Every time she was transferred, she felt hope few her new situation. She writes that she knows she was lucky to be middle-class and be offered treatment, instead of being kicked onto the streets. As an adult, Daphne channeled her traumatic past into an artistic career, and now lives as Dylan Scholinski in the San Francisco area (Dylan's identification as male occurred after the 1997 publication of this memoir). I only discovered Scholinski's gender identity when I started composing my review, and in many ways, Daphne's "actual" gender identity is irrelevant to this story of the failure of the mental health system to help a depressed youth and her family.

it disturbs me when people read memoirs, especially those geared at or focused in psychology, and take it upon themselves to diagnose the writer. that is not dylan's(daphne's) intent (dylan is fTm and is currently living in washington dc). this is a memoir, most importantly...a first-hand creatively written perspective and critique. having met and visited with dylan at his studio in washington dc, i know that the reality of a tormented past is ever-present. his art reflects this. not only does dylan wrestle with demons of his past, he still must fight against the close-minded bigotry that some people have portrayed in these reviews. my understanding of psychology has always been that of a people-science...a science committed to helping people live good lives. it is not a science of manipulation and judgments, such as the reality that dylan had to face. my only hope is that you read this book and realize that it is neither fact nor fiction, but one person's perspective on his reality. we cannot fault him for that...only applaud him for sharing his voice.

Having come from an abusive home, I can relate to what Daphne/Dylan must have felt and how he behaved while trying to cope with his Gender-Identity and the far-from-sympathetic world around him in the 1980's. I came out as gay in 1970 and then as Transgendered in 1993, after having wrestled with "my self-knowledge - vs - what other people tried to make me act like" for MANY years prior -- it was a rocky hellish road at times, but (despite the abuse!) my parents accepted me (grudgingly at times) for who/what I was. I have nothing but kind words for those Tansgendered friends of mine, who like Dylan, persevered through their own private torment, and who accepted me for who I was and for how I identified myself. I applaud Dylan for having the inner strength to keep going - keep going, no matter the present torment, no matter how horrible the present situation is - keep going forward with your own goal in mind, no matter how clear-cut or nebulous it is. This book has and will inspire others out there who "think they are the only ones" going through this. We may have come far but in too many parts of this country, children and young adults -- who are trying to reconcile their birth gender with their personal gender identity -- are still being put thru a living nightmare; parents abusing, insulting dismissing them from their households, with no nurturance, no desire to understand their own offspring; even their classmates, teachers, strangers, even friends turning against them. It takes HUGE inner strength to rise above all that and to keep going, keep going forward. This book will shock, inspire and galvanize. I hope it also EDUCATES those who harbor any prejudices against transgendered individuals, ESPECIALLY those who treat patients with Gender Identity "Disorder".. Since the beginning of time,the spectrum of Masculine and Feminine has run through ALL genders in varying degrees, and not necessarily always corresponding to the individual's birth gender. In today's civilized and educated society, it is abut time that young people like Dylan are raised with compassion and understanding instead of with psychodramatic brutality. It is my hope that this book also reaches out to those in Child Protective Services as well as those professionals in the fields of Therapy.

this book rings true in a society that cannot accept the notion or idea of gender diversity. daphne is brave and sad, true to herself but forced to be someone else. No matter who you are, reading this book will change the way you feel about the medicalization of social "norms"- the ways in which society treats people who do not live inside a socially constructed box created by people in society.

I am an 18 year old female from Virginia. I've always identified as a girl, but I've never been the girly-girl type. I also know people with trans issues, and I never really knew much about it, but I've been learning more and more and with each thing I read I'm aware of the ridiculousness of gender identities and roles.I've always been cynical about the mental health profession, and this book really opened my eyes a little bit wider to the things that go on in mental hospitals, and it's inspired me to do more. I've never been in one myself, but I am carted off to see a counselor and a psychotherapist at least once every two weeks, because I'm not "motivated" in school, and because I don't have any "practical" plans for the future. Also, I'm "depressed" and "moody". I'm supposed to take an anti-depressant, but the bottle is sitting on my desk, unopened. I don't like pills. How are they supposed to "fix" someone?This book also helped me understand a little but more about gender issues. I recently read "The Frailty Myth" by Collette Dowling, and I plan on writing a book eventually about how "masculinity" and "femininity" are labels created by a patriarchial society. I don't think that boys and girls are either of these. Sure, we have the different parts, but they're purely biological and needed for the survival of the human race, but a person is no less of a human because he/she doesn't "fit in" with their gender. The so-called roles, I believe, are created and enforced by society, not nature.Above all, I STRONGLY recommend this book...for anyone who was deemed "inappropriate", anyone who wants to elanr more about gender issues, anyone who's ever been lost and lonely, anyone who just wants a good dramatic read....hell, I'd recommend it for anyone.