The Language of Emotional Intelligence: The Five Essential Tools for Building Powerful and Effective Relationships

As a psychologist who has been practicing for over 35 years, I did not expect to find anything in this book that I did not already know. Much to my surprise and delight, I discovered that there are simple yet powerful techniques for changing the nature of the interaction patterns between oneself and others, and that most of these techniques were based on becoming more aware in ways that I had not considered before, either for myself or for my clients. Drs. Segal and Jaffe have made an important contribution to the literature on using emotional awareness to improve communication skills, and have done so from a unique and original perspective. This is must reading for therapists of all stripes, and for all those who have an interest in cultivating their interpersonal skills.

I began reading this book as a favor to a friend. I ended up reading the book for myself and thanking my friend for the suggestion. I am a Collaborative Attorney, a Mediator and a Litigator. I initially thought this book would give me tools to better understand my clients by looking for their patterns of emotional intelligence. I found myself, however, studying my own patterns. I quickly realized that by understanding my own patterns I will not only be better able to understand my clients, but I will be better able to understand myself in relationship to my clients. I see the possibility of an entirely new and expansive way of relating to and understanding my client's needs and interests. I intend to keep this book close at hand to revisit Drs. Segal and Jaffe's simple but pointed and effective exercises on a regular basis. I highly recommend Drs. Segal and Jaffe's book to any professional who has an interest in understanding and relating to their clients' needs and interests in new and profound ways.

Dr. Segal's book is a clarifying and inviting approach to look at your relationships and offers a system for fixing what needs to be fixed. In reading her book, I immediately identified with her clear examples and felt easily inclined to look at my own relationships as well as the habits that have come out of my upbringing. It helped me to recognize what was working and what needed to be resolved in my own life. The language of Emotional Intelligence sets forth a system with five easily learned tools that guide you as you chart a course to build better relationships. What is most exciting is that it insures us the opportunity to change and learn improved ways to relate to others. It's a remarkably good read

Dr. Segal's book offers an excellent, concrete introduction to understanding relationship challenges and effective responses to them. With the use of example situations to provide a base, she presents techniques to develop those responses. The book is very well organized and presented - I found that even with a quick first read I was able to gather considerable insight and guideposts for myself. The varied examples and the sensitivity to diverse personalities that might face similar challenges will make the book responsive to a wide variety of readers. While the book is likely to be of most help to those looking for solutions to their perceived struggles, the background and discussion should be generally useful in developing awareness and capabilities to ward off difficulties. However, in order to take full advantage of the background and tools presented in the book will require a focused time commitment.

I don't know about you, but no one ever taught me how to be comfortable with emotions or how to create solid and satisfying relationships. The Language of Emotional Intelligence is the road map through the territory of emotions and the destination of successful relationships. This easy to understand guide is clear and simple. It goes beyond the usual information about relationships (I've had plenty of that!) and gives five specific tools and step by step insights and actions. Page by page it helps us delve into that unknown realm of our emotions. It helps in understanding our own feelings and being comfortable with the emotions of others, Also, we learn about the power of non-verbal communication, laughter and play and how to resolve conflict in ways that strengthen relationships. It's hard to believe that so much is packed into just over 200 pages! I'm giving copies to all my employees, my friends and certainly to my family! Thank you, Dr. Segal.