The Intimate Enemy: How to Fight Fair in Love and Marriage

This book isn't at all what I was expecting. It was long boring and didn't give me any real advice. I feel like the advice in this book would ruin a relationship. I wish I didn't waste my money on this one. Read instead: Hold me tight: Seven Conversations… by Sue Johnson

A profound, important and practical book. It makes a distinction between constructive and destructive arguments. And it describes in a very useful way how to structure conflict so it improves a relationship rather than hurts it.

John Gottman, Harville Hendrix, and, for some people, John Gray are the writers that most people tend to think of as experts in the field of relationships. Way before any of them ever thought about writing a book on relationships, George Bach was researching the subject. In 1968, he published some of what he discovered on the subject in The Intimate Enemy. Back then, very few books on the subject of relationships even existed. Today, most bookstores have bookshelf after bookshelf of them, offering all kinds of theories. Few have the practical value of this timeless classic. If you're building a small collection of relationship books, this book a must have. If you're doing research on the subject, this book is a must read. If you're working on creating a better relationship, the exercises and techniques in it are must do. Have fun!

I read this book many years ago and it totally changed my perspective about the NEED for conflict in a relationship. It pointed out constructive ways to express one's feelings and opinions without becoming destructive and hurtful in the process. The author points out that positive conflict-resolution techniques are essential if relationships are to last in the long term. The concepts not only changed the way I deal with family and friends, but also gave me some excellent techniques for dealing with students, parents and colleagues in my teaching career. I long since misplaced (or loaned out) my copy of this book, but would like to find another.