The Infertility Companion: Hope and Help for Couples Facing Infertility

The Infertility Companion: Hope and Help for Couples Facing Infertility (Christian Medical Association) is a book that is part almanac, part dictionary, part personal testimony and part Bible teaching and study. It's written by a Christian Infertility Doctor and a Christian Infertility Patient. I'll start with my critiques because they're pretty minor. My biggest complaint about the book is that for some reason I've not quite put my finger on, DH and I both found it visually hard to read. I can't decide if the text is smaller, the leading is smaller, the characters are closer together, the lines are longer or if it's because the pages are gray and not white, but I found it hard to read more than 20 pages in one sitting before my eyes were too tired. I've never experienced that with a book before and I'm quite confident it wasn't the content that made it hard to read so I'm quite befuddled. At times I was frustrated because I wanted to continue reading but couldn't comfortably do so. My other critique is that the book is littered with one paragraph personal anecdotes from various people that I found distracting on almost every occasion. I struggle to see their purpose and at times, was frustrated by the incongruence that occurred when the anecdotes interrupted the primary authors' train of thought, with little explanation as to why they were offered in the first place. The primary text is stronger when one skips the interruptions (though for thoroughness' sake, I did read them all). However, those two, minor things encompass the totality of my complaints about this book. What I love about this book is how straightforward it is. This is not to be confused with authors who are insensitive. This book just lacks the emotional aspect of a lot of the other books, which my husband especially appreciated. He felt much more comfortable reading this book than reading some of the others I speak highly of, including ones I've recommended here. The book reads largely like a textbook on infertility, if such a thing could exist given the diverse nature of individual experiences. However, it is very conversational and approachable in tone-not at all dry and difficult to read like the mention of a "text book" would suggest. The authors write with one voice and do an excellent job at it, which I think lends itself to the "neutrality" of this book. It's not a book by women for women, or men for men. It's a book for a general audience, which I think is rare in this particular genre of texts. The book spends some time on the interpersonal aspects of infertility, including the patients' relationships with themselves, with each other, with God, with their friends and family, with Christendom and with the general public. It also address such things as parenting after infertility, secondary infertility, childlessness by choice, and responding to well meaning advice. Perhaps one of the most instrumental things I've read in any book on the subject was in the authors

Right around this time of year, sermons about Mother's Day and the beauty of parenthood bring grief to those experiencing the hellish ride of infertility. Though I have not personally experienced this, I have walked with several friends that have. This book was invaluable in helping me understand the medical, spiritual and emotional issues facing infertile couples. Glahn's personal story is woven throughout, giving the reader glimpses into the pain of infertility. Cutrer offers the reader practical and sound medical advice, gleaned from years and years of treating infertile couples. Both grapple with theological questions like "Is infertility a curse from God?" and "Why did God create sex?" Perhaps the most helpful chapter detailed the well-intentioned (but painful) things people say: Just relax. You can have my children for a weekend. If you adopt, you'll conceive. Just trust God. The latter half of the book deals with the ethics of medical intervention in an honest, non-alarmist way. If you are looking for an infertility manual with heart, pick up this book. If you are longing to love a friend or family member through infertility's minefield, read it for understanding.

The Infertility Companion is just that: a companion. Like a survivor's guidebook, it covers the vast array of situations, dynamics, decisions and procedures couples dealing with infertility often face. It offers insights and suggestions on everything from handling doctor's visits to protecting your marriage, as well as helpful explanations of complex medical terms and options. I personally have found this book to be an invaluable resource, as my husband and I have waded through, what has turned out to be, the most complicated and difficult journey of our lives. Glahn and Cutrer are to be thanked for not only writing a superb resource, but also for offering true compassion and understanding through the pages of this book.

Sandra Glahn and William Cutrer first ministered to me in my infertility journey with their book, When Empty Arms Become a Heavy Burden. That book set me on the path to contentment in my struggle. Recently, my church was privileged to have them present an infertility seminar, and many couples felt their pain acknowledged for the first time. From this seminar, a support group was formed. We are currently using The Infertility Companion in our support group. What a success! Discussion questions at the end of each chapter initiate honest and uplifting conversation. Couples have expressed the great encouragement they have received from this book. It is an engaging book, well written, and provides a seemingly endless fountain of knowledge and wisdom, brimming over with practicality. Count on it to strengthen and educate you in your infertility journey.

The Infertility Companion, written by Sandra Glahn and William Cutrer, is indeed a comforting read to both the hurting and those who want to "be there" for the hurting. At one time or another, most of us are in one of those positions, that is, burdened with heartache or wanting to help loved ones through their burdens. The insight into the personal lives of those who share their stories through this writing was a great help to me. Equally, I was encouraged by the reminder that there really are doctors who see you as a person with feelings and not just another medical patient, and that we have a choice to find the ones who do to provide for our medical treatments. Though I've never lived through the same struggles expressed in this book there are those that are very dear to me that have and do struggle daily with the same issues. Having the knowledge, information, and vocabulary that they indentify with has helped me to be a more confident, compassionate, and supportive friend. The Christian perspective was a great help to me, as well, as I read of Biblical accounts of infertile couples referenced in this writing. The medical information has been helpful as I have thought through some of the procedures and methods of medical advancement and has helped me to see more clearly the weight of decision-making that patients of infertility carry. This book would be a great gift of compassion to someone who has expressed their sorrows of childlessness and/or pregnancy losses with you. Even greater, pick up a copy for yourself, too, and read along with them to show how much you really do care.