The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You

Good book with a lot of good insights. One of the few books I actually highlight in. I related with a lot of it, although some of the exercises and applications rubbed me the wrong way. But I think that’s just a personal thing, because I don’t like when people tell me what to do lol. Really life-changing insights if you’re a sensitive person and have never heard of the concept of HSPs before, and even though I’ve known for a while, I still found some parts that have helped me figure some stuff out in my life.

I always thought I was this kind of person, so reading this and the related research was hugely validating for me. If you think you're even possibly this type, get the book! It could be life-changing for you! Mine is filled with highlighting and sticker markers! There's also a HSP network you can tap into which I'm only just beginning to see tips and educational things from.

I truly wish that this book would have existed 30 or more years ago. Almost everthing traditionally written on this subject has been tacitly negative. The highly sensitive, or introverted, personality type was automatically assumed to be defective to some degree for their failure to "adapt" to the extroverted "norm." I think that this is because most traditional American psychological thought has been fundamentally industrial and military psychology- the subject is always supposed to adapt to the environment and never the other way around. Those who cannot adapt are identified and disposed of. That is certainly how military psychology has always been practiced. This book is the first to demonstrate that highly sensitive people are both "normal" and have many valuable traits. Indeed, they excel against extraverts in most areas that make people truly "human." Not only that, but in other cultures without an unnatural majority of extraverts, the sensitive person was seen as the ideal friend and citizen. I especially appreciated the explanation of the biochemistry of "over-stimulation." When sensitive people are forced to interact in unnatural evironments the cortisol levels in their bloodstream increases, making them even more sensitive to their environment than they usually are. Unless they can withdraw, or otherwise calm themselves, it is a virtual certainty that they will overreact. This means that they will act contrary to their usual conscientious, reasonable, and understanding normal behavior in order to escape. Needless to say, inspite of the fact that this reaction is virtually out of their control, this overreaction is dealt with harshly by society- and by employers. Inspite of the fact that highly sensitive people are the most conscientious, hard-working, competent, and even gifted, of employees 99% of the time, this absolute physical need to escape to a less stressful environment can ruin their lives. They are labeled as freaks, as not being "team players"- and as "unemployable." I know this, for like the author, I was also born a HSP. This means that in an unnaturally extraverted society I often find myself wishing that I had not been born at all- inspite of my gifts, inspite of the shear injustice of it all....

Before I read this book I mistakenly labeled all of my over-stimulated times as anxiety (though some over-stimulation can lead to anxiety for me!). How wonderful to know I am not crazy (or going there) - nor am I alone in my high sensitivity.This book is an honestly written, thoroughly researched, deeply felt look at high sensitivity from someone who has experienced this trait herself.I was always told I was "over-sensitive" and believe me this was never a compliment. I aggravated people (still do)! Sensitivity is rarely considered a strength. I was relieved to discover, through this book, why and how I can be comfortable, content and even happy with who I am.I did not read much of ch.9 about meds because, for me, it was N/A. I have fibromyalgia and take Paxil because I do not get restorative sleep without help. For those with fibromyalgia, it is imparitive that we get restful/restorative sleep, otherwise our symptoms are much more severe.I absolutely ate up the first three chapters. I was enthralled. My mother picked this book up in the bookstore and handed it to me... she knows how sensitive I am and how much I have struggled through my 30 years of life. When I saw the title I literally snatched it from her hands and exclaimed "I am buying this one!" I knew instinctively this book was going to affect me greatly. I was as right as I have ever been. No one has ever explained me to me so well before!!!I love that I now feel ok and even good about being sensitive. I am a very sensitive person, emotionally, physically, spiritually... you name it. I have often wished I would not care so much, but knew that I would be unhappy that way... though glad that I would not be hurt so much and often.It has taken me many years to learn to live with the way I am. I have limitations and that is ok. I rarely feel that I am missing out, though I know many people who think I limit myself and don't live life to the fullest. I feel that I do. Even though I deal with overstimulation EVERYDAY... I still do things and go out of my comfort zone often. It is hard... but I know I am a better person for it.For me crowds, dr. visits, driving alone, traffic, loud music, sirens, and flashing lights are huge stimulants for me and I often close my eyes and/or plug my ears to get away. Ms. Aron talks about this very thing in her book... the need for HSP's to have time alone. Time to rest and deprogram from activity.I believe I come from a family of HSP's and I intend to loan this book to many of my family and friends. I think it is important that people are aware of HSP's and the way we are different from non-HSP's. No one is superior or inferior here... just different and we should celebrate our differences. My husband and I have a unique relationship. I am HSP and he is ADD and this makes for a very very interesting mix and some interesting cross purposes and ways of living. He thrives on activity and marginal chaos and I am worn down by it!!! Thankfull

In this unique book, research psychologist Elaine Aron breaks new psychological ground by defining a personality trait inadequately explored in the past, a trait that an estimated 15-20% of the U.S. population carries. The trait manifests in a highly sensitive nervous system present from birth and probably inherited, much like other personality traits or physical features. Highly sensitive people, or HSPs as Aron calls people who possess this trait, are much more sensitive to nearly everything they experience -- from the sensory characteristics of objects and events, to the subtleties of inner feelings and relationships between people. As a result of this heightened awareness to everything in their environment, highly sensitive people in our culture are often told, "You're too sensitive for your own good," and are admonished to develop a "tougher skin." Ms. Aron discusses the ways in which people with this trait have frequently been mislabeld in the past, often branded as "shy," "introverted," or "neurotic," even by professionals. She goes to great lengths to define and describe the sensitivity trait as it influences an individual's life, providing both research evidence and personal anecdotes from the scores of people interviewed for her work. The evidence illustrates that being a highly sensitive person is both a blessing and a burden, depending upon a number of different factors in the life history of the individual. Possessing this trait can make life challenging at times but Ms. Aron, herself an HSP, emphasizes that being sensitive is not a psychological disorder or a personality flaw to get rid of. The sensitivity trait is merely a part of an individual's personality. Being highly sensitive need not limit a person's enjoyment of life, but it will impact everything from relationships with others to the work one chooses to do. THE HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON is less self-help and more self-acceptance, however, Aron offers suggestions! for contending with the highly sensitive nautre in order to thrive in a society that often fails to appreciate this trait, particularly in boys and men. If you are or know a highly sensitive person, this book offers constructive insights that will bring new perspective to the past, the present, and the future.