The Great Boyfriend Disaster

I would like to start this book review by saying that I have not read this book, nor do I ever plan to. However, based on the sweet cover art I can already tell that this book kicks some serious 1980s ass. The main character, probably named Susie, has a terrible time getting guys to notice her at school. She consults her popular and trendy friend Kimmy who gives her a totally tubular makeover. Once she's outfitted with some tightly rolled stonewashed jeans, some obnoxiously colored scrunchies, a loose fitting "V" neck sweater and an artificially inflated sense of self worth, everything changes. Her long time crush, Brad Quarterback (pictured at right), finally notices her and a new love interest emerges with the local rich kid, Archie Morris or something (pictured at left). When they both ask her to attend the "big dance" she has to make a decision between them. I don't want to ruin the ending so I'll just say that her decision either ultimately results in a cold-blooded murder or a 3-way makeout session at Skateland. Either way, there is plenty of childish heavy petting and gnarly action to go around.