The Friendship of Women: The Hidden Tradition of the Bible

A very interesting linkage regarding women in the Bible and the characteristics of gifted traits that we all admire in our closest of friends.

This small book is packed with information about the women in the Bible and how each personifies as aspect of friendship. There is a chapter on Ruth, a chapter on Anne, and some women that have received very little attention. There are interesting thoughts about each of them and how they represent different aspects of friendship. I am enjoying it so much that I only allow myself a chapter at a time to read and ponder. I think this will be the book I give to women friends this year. This is a keeper.

In a day and age where individualism and self-sufficiency is prided as characteristics of success and power, a voice that reminds us of the true role and import of friendship needs to be heard - and Joan Chittister offers one such voice. Using women biblical figures as a springboard and chapter mastheads, Chittister develops a short reflection on what the true meaning of friendship is and how is should be cultivated today. From a refreshingly feminine perspective, Chittister approaches the topic of true friendship from the projected experience of the women for whom each chapter is named. While in no way a scholarly or academic work (most observed in the lack of authoritative scripture references, scholarly endnotes/footnotes or exegetical analysis of implicit scriptural references - although she does list the biblical passages at the end of the book where each woman could be found mentioned in scripture), this book is a wonderful meditative tool for one's own reflection on friendship. In the spirit of full-disclosure, I should note that I am a male in religious life (in contrast to the author, a female in religious life, and the audience which appears to be primarily women). This perhaps limits my ability to fully appreciate the impact this work has on a female reader. I can attest to the fact that two very close women friends have read and recommended this book to me and they have found great solace and inspiration from it. I enjoyed it very much and it has allowed me to reflect on both friendship and women in the Bible in new ways.

The introduction of this book is worth the retail price. It's an essay in itself. A sample sentence: "To have a friend is to acknowledge that some part of someone else's life which we have held tenderly, trustingly in our own hands might well die with us." Okay, it's a sentence you may have to read twice. But then you "get it," and you reflectively pause before continuing. A pleasant complexity in the writing sets THE FRIENDSHIP OF WOMEN above its competition. Chittister's style is more graceful than but reminiscent of the early work of Henri Nouwen, in that she reflects on very personal themes but not in a first-person ("I") voice. As helpful as anecdotes are to ground a book, in this case they would seem superficial. Chittister's descriptions of what we need and want in friendships are framed in a spiritual, rather than a self-help, context. The back cover calls it "the sacred dimension of friendship." Though this is a book for and about women, Chittister draws heavily on interesting, classic quotes about friendship, most of them written by men, including Ambrose, Aristotle, Augustine, and that's just the beginning of the alphabet. Admittedly, as Chittister notes, men have written most of the classical literature, and Chittister wants to broaden that base. A Benedictine nun, Chittister has written extensively, often with a hard-hitting and discomforting message, but here her text is, well, comforting. She titles each chapter with the name of a woman who has a role in the biblical story, though two of 12 are extrabiblical --- saints revered by Catholics but virtually unknown to conservative Protestants: Anne (the mother of the Virgin Mary) and Veronica (who showed kindness to Jesus on his road to the cross). As short as this volume is (fewer than 100 pages), it is expanded from an earlier work (published in 2000) that covered only New Testament women. (Old Testament additions are Deborah, Esther, Ruth and Miriam.) But what do we really know about the friendships of these biblical women? Not much, so Chittister focuses on personality traits found in their stories and relates them to personal relationships. The first half of each chapter reflects generically on the chapter theme, before turning to the biblical story. She acclaims Prisca's sense of self. Esther's leadership abilities. Elizabeth's acceptance of the friend at her door. Miriam's joy. In a good friend we need Deborah's wisdom. "The Deborahs in our lives know us as well as we know ourselves. The difference is that they also help us see beyond ourselves." To be a good friend we need "the Phoebe dimension of friendship," the "quiet constancy" that "requires us to be self-contained: she became an independent woman, but not self-centered." And Veronica? "With the Veronicas of friendship, it is the staying power that counts." She is the one "to whom a woman turns to understand the gravity of all the trivia of her life." If you're looking for a book that gets beyond the trivia of friend

Joan Chittister is a Benedictine sister, founder and executive director of Benetvision: A Resource and Research Center for Contemporary Spirituality. A theologian, social psychologist, and communication theorist, she skillfully explores the sacred dimension of friendship through the perspectives of faith, tradition, Scripture, and the experience of women in The Friendship Of Women: A Spiritual Tradition. The almost lyrical text is enhanced with the stunning icons of Benedictine oblate Marcie Bircher and showcases the wisdom of such women as Lydia, Prisca, Phoebe, Martha, Veronica, elizabeth, Anne, Mary Magdalene, and those who gathered at the foot of the Cross. Sr. Joan teaches the reader about friendship as it is embodied and exemplified in each of these women's lives, and within a context of the Christian experience. The Friendship Of Women is very highly recommended reading for anyone with an interest in women's contributions to the health of the Christian community and the legacy of the Christian church with respect to our ordinary lives and relationships.