The Family Book

I read reviews on this book that said it was great for bibliotherapy, which is why I purchased it. However, it uses statements such as "All families like to hug each other" and "All families like to celebrate special days together." These statements just are not true as many children in therapy will attest to. I appreciated the bulk of the book stressing how families have all kinds of different structures. I understand that the author wanted to come up with some statements that were universal across all families. However, some of the statements they chose were not. Not all families like to hug each other. Not all families like to celebrate special days together. These statements would be hurtful to a child whose family does not hug them or celebrate special days. I will not be using this book for bibliotherapy and would be careful about any child I give it to. All families are different.

This book was a gift to my daughter and I from my stepsister, as much as a testament to her acceptance of me as her sister, as her acceptance of my daughter, who was adopted, as her niece. She couldn't have given us a better gift. But I have to be completely honest and say that, had I come across this book in the store, I would not have bought it. In fact the first time I read it to my daughter, I wanted to skim past the "some families have two moms or two dads" page. I know my saying that might be hurtful for some, and I am truly, truly sorry. Well, I didn't skim past that page. I read it to my daughter. Again, and again, and again because guess what: this is her favorite book. And though she's 18 mos old, she understands what is going on. She loves to wipe her hand across the "Some families like to be clean" page and she turns to hug me on the "All families like to hug" page. She places her finger to her mouth to shush when I say, "Some families like to be quiet." I didn't teach her to do these things as we read along; this book just really engages her. Some day she'll look at me quizzically and ask how it is that some people have two moms or two dads, and I'm going to tell her why: they just do. Like the other reviewer, I will admit that I had no intention of introducing my daughter to homosexuality at such a young age. Because, I was thinking about the sexuality part, not the love part. And the more I read this book to to her over and over and over, I am learning that when she has friends who have same gender parents, that is what I want her to focus on, the love part, because that's what she thinks about when she sees her own mommy and daddy, nothing else. We became a family without any of that. Oh, and the other huge thing about this book. It is how I taught my daughter about the word "adopt." I have other books to try to explain to her about how we became a family, but she literally pushes them away. This is the only one that holds her attention. I'll say, "some families, like you and mommy and daddy, adopt children" and she just beams. Of course, the page has ducks on it, and I strongly suspect she's saying, "a duck!" at least half the time because she then goes, "quack, quack, quack."

I love this book and all of the other Todd Parr books that I have bought for my son. As the gay dad of a son who has both a dady and a papa, I am very happy to see that books like this exist. And I am saddened by the reviewer who does not recommend this book because they don't want to have to explain gay parenting to a two year old "before they have to explain sex." Why in the world whoud you have to explain either to a preschool aged child!?!? Children at that age take reality at face value--as reality. I tell my son that there are families with one parent, a mom or dad, two parents (explaining that most kids do not have two mommies or daddies--because that is indeed the reality of the world) and that some kids are raised by their grandparents or an aunt or another relative. These ARE the realities of the world and just because you don't "agree" with something that already exists or just because some families are in the minority doesn't seem a justification for denying reality to your kids. Again, I applaud Todd Parr for the books he writes and the parents who read them to their children.

The fact is that different families exist.We need to teach our children that is okay that there are many different families and no one family is better than another. So many kids are taught from such an earlier age to judge. I think books like this one do a good job of teaching that not everyone has to be part of a cookie cutter life. If everyone would just accept those around them instead of finding the difference or the fault the world would be a more peaceful place to live.

I'll admit a bias right up front: Todd Parr is one of my favorite authors. Each of his books that I have introduced and read to my classes has been a big hit with the students---and this one is no exception. Each page contains one sentence about families. For example, midway through the book we read, "Some families live near each other," which is humorously illustrated by two mouse holes with six sets of eyes peering out. The opposing page counters with, "Some families live far from each other." Here we see two colorful, alien space families on opposite planets. In addition to living conditions, habits, and physical appearances, Parr also discusses different family structures. "Some families have a stepmom or stepdad and stepsisters or stepbrothers," while "some families have two moms or two dads." While we learn that families can be quite different from one another, we also learn that families share some things in common. "All families," writes Parr, "are sad when they lose someone they love," and "all families can help each other be strong!" There is a wonderful vitality to the book thanks to the bold drawings, bright, nearly neon colors, and handwritten text. Add to that an affirming story with an important message and you have here a definite winner. Highly recommended. Reviewed by the Education Oasis Staff

Todd Parr is an absolute gem! He knows so well how to create fun and appealing books for children that promote self-acceptance and an appreciation of the diversity of modern society. In The Family Book, Todd shows us how families can be different from each other in some ways, but how all families are similar as well. "Some families are the same color/ Some families are different colors....All families like to HUG each other!" "Some families have two moms or two dads/ Some families have one parent instead of two....All families like to celebrate special days together!"I highly recommend this book for all families, schools and communities that are trying to prepare children to understand, appreciate and embrace the differences that they will encounter in their lives. In particular, biracial, adoptive and alternative families will find this book a very special addition to their home libraries. Thank you, Todd Parr, for sending a message of love to the world in your books!