The End-Of-Life Handbook: A Compassionate Guide to Connecting with and Caring for a Dying Loved One

The End-of-Life Handbook is a refreshing and comforting book that I wish I had had when my husband died three years ago. Reading the words of both Dave Feldman and Andrew Lasher feels like having them sitting with you, coaching you when you need help figuring out what to do. They offer practical advice about talking to doctors, how to understand your own feelings and to care for yourself when a loved one is gravely ill. If you only buy one book when you are helping someone with a serious illness, this is the one I would buy.

Drs. Feldman and Lasher have created an extraordinary book. If you are facing the challenges of caring for a dying loved one you could benefit greatly by having this essential resource. I have never read a book that had such an immediate effect of preparing me for something so difficult: to be with someone during their final passage. My loved one is an octogenarian with cancer. As a first-time primary caregiver and health proxy, I didn't know where to begin. Once I started reading, it was hard to put the book down. Its non-technical voice was liberating and validating. Never before having experienced the throes of living with someone who has a terminal illness, I realized I was emotionally surviving one day at time without a thoughtful plan. I was managing finances, trying to understand medical jargon, and more, all while neglecting to take care of my own needs: guilt, anger, numbness, sadness, et cetera. The End-of-Life Handbook speaks directly to you, acting as your own personal compassionate guide. It draws on the experience of two experts in the field of end-of-life care. The wisdom Feldman and Lasher provide is reassuring. Most chapters end with exercises that help you with practical (but overlooked) matters like creating a plan to take of care of yourself, or providing a list of questions to help with the often difficult conversation regarding your loved one's advance directives. In addition, anecdotes in each chapter bring to life the rich information the book has to offer. This book is highly recommended!

I recommend this book to anyone who has loved ones that are terminally ill. The valuable information in this book helps both the caregiver and the dying person understand and deal with the last stages of life. Everyone should read this book in the event that they have to deal with a terminally ill loved one.

Serving as the power of attorney for a dying loved one, I felt as if I was left at sea without a paddle. This book helped crystallize my thoughts and ask the pertinent questions I wanted answered from my busy doctor. The book prepared and educated me in what to expect when my loved one approached death, but also how to facilitate the process towards an end in which conincided with what my loved one had hoped for. The valuable advice in this book enabled me to interface effectively with the medical team so that I could voice the wishes of my loved one when she was unable to do so herself. Even after the passing, I still find value in this book in finding resources in coping with my loss.

From down-to-earth treatment recommendations to figuring out what to say to a dying person, this beautifully written book helps the caregiver and the dying understand and support each other during life's most difficult time. The book can function both as a reference with clear chapter titles, and as a road map of the psychological and physiological changes encountered at the end of a person's life. Feldman and Lasher clear up the mystery surrounding the medical decision-making process, and do a masterful job of explaining what you can expect, what your options are, and how to make your wishes known.