The Emotionally Unavailable Man/Woman: A Blueprint for Healing

When I first heard that Patti Henry had written a book, "The Emotionally Unavailable Man", I immediately obtained it. Being a "transplanted" New Yorker, now a "resident" of Texas, I was not sure if it applied to me as I have that inherited Northeastern "skepticism" and was a single, never married male in my fifties. After hearing Patti speak and finding her to be such a great live speaker, I was interested to see how she communicated in writing. I was very pleasantly surprised, in fact shocked as this book, while delving into all aspects of marital relations, really applies to everyone regardless of marital status. With her eloquent, yet very understandable style of writing, Patti Henry clearly illustrates all the factors that impact on human relationships, first concentrating on the male perspective, then the female. Her chapters on "Family of Origin" and the "Blind Quadrant'" are simply stunning, and make you read it again and again to get a deeper insight into your own life. Many times, people who are having problems in their lives seek assistance from friends, therapists, or reading books like "The Emotionally Unavailable Man." After reading this book a number of times, I am convinced that "The Emotionally Unavailable Man" ought to be required reading for everyone, as it gives a unique insight into the human psyche that would benefit all. Patti Henry writes as she speaks in person. She makes you feel like every word was written specifically for the reader. Without reservation, I recommend this book to any adult and also suggest that if Patti Henry is speaking in your city, treat yourself, and go hear her. You will not be disappointed. Robert Pryor President - Educational Resources Intl. Inc.

With all the self-help/self-understanding/relationship books I've read (including Mars and Venus), yours has been the most influential in my life. It has given me the tools I've needed most to be my own person and begin to repair the damage my emotional unavailability has caused for both myself and my (beautiful, wonderful, amazing) wife.

This book was a revelation ... finally I understand why my husband behaves the way he does and why I respond to him the way I do ... and why we kept engaging in such a futile dance on a daily basis. In a sense, it's taken us both "off the hook". The bottom line is that this knowledge has empowered me. I have changed the way I respond to him. I no longer take his behaviour personally, but instead accept this as a universal problem with many, many men and not just with my man. He's now reading the book and (for the first time with any book he's read) said "it makes sense". Often self-help books make men feel inadequate. This book instead reinforces that the behaviour of the emotionally unavailable man is entirely normal in the circumstances. It acknowledges their fear and hesitancy whilst gently encouraging them to take tentative steps in overcoming their lifelong conditioning. It is a doable "blueprint for healing". I don't want to be the "hurricane" (albeit a very quiet one) in my husband's life. I love him, why would I want to hurt him or make him even more unavailable? Perhaps this book and the newfound patience it can engender in partners will lead to these men becoming much more available to us and others in their lives who are important to them. This is the first time I've actually been optimistic that this might be possible. Everybody wants to be understood, and this book takes a quantum leap in helping us to genuinely understand the emotionally unavailable man. Thank you sincerely Patti Henry. Dividing the book into a men's section and a women's section was entirely apt. Partners absolutely need to be proactive in helping their man in his efforts to change. We need to be patient, encouraging and compassionate. We need to empathise. We need to leave our frustration in the past. These men are invariably in pain. They don't shut themselves off happily ... it's self-preservation in its most basic form. I sincerely believe this book should be recommended reading for every parent with a son. It would be a travesty if we created yet another generation of emotionally unavailable men. We all miss out on way too much in doing so.

I do not usually read self help books and read this one only at the urging of a friend. It is a marvelous book. Not only is the advice it offers extremely insightful and helpful, but this book passes the major test for any book - it is a great read. I found its analysis of typical problems in marriages so helpful that I sent a copy to my engaged daughter and her fiance.

I have recommended this book to so many people and they've all loved it. All of the men who I know who have read it have raved about it -- and most guys I know don't really get into "self-help" books. What makes this book unique -- besides a message that is all about how to have healthy relationships -- is that it's written for both men and women. One side of the book is "for men," then flip it over and the other side is written for the women who love them. Several times, I had to stop reading just to have a "lightbulb moment." This book is fabulous.