The Edge of the Bed: How Dirty Pictures Changed My Life

In February of 1994, I, along with many other horny college students around the nation, was fascinated by an Esquire article documenting "feminists who don't hate sex!" Lisa Palac had one of the more memorable lines as she attempted to describe the appeal of S/M; she called for her men to "degrade me when I ask you to." Obviously, this was not your average pundit, a fact emphasized by her résumé: co-founder of Future Sex magazine, producer of the Cyborgasm CD series and now author of an excellent memoir, The Edge of the Bed. Palac relates her upbringing, revisiting her Catholic childhood, her parents' loveless marriage and her subsequent attempts at establishing romantic relationships in the stormy sexual climate of San Francisco with an energetically bouncing prose and a self-deprecating gift for the dramatic. Along the way, she finds time to state her views on pornography, cybersex and sexual honesty, drawing you into her life with a magnetic charisma. She writes with a uniquely modern voice, one capable of tackling thorny issues with intelligence, irreverence and a quick wit. Hers is a life worth reading, and, with only 35 years behind her, there should be plenty more to come.

I really enjoyed this book. Palac's approach to what can be such a loaded subject is playful and light. Her core idea is that each of our sexual identities is unique, and that we have a right, almost an obligation, to honor and explore it. She is tolerant of diversity, but at the same time she pulls no punches in condemning those who would belittle and shame us for our natural drives. Palac is/was a Roman Catholic, as am I, and her chapter on the role of the Church in robbing her of her sexual identity is very compelling. The idea that pornography can be healthy, and that women have a right to enjoy it, is an idea whose time has come. I give this book 5 stars because it is a welcome look at an aspect of our lives which is frequently stunted and shrouded with shame. Palac has opened a window letting in fresh air.

Lisa Palac has produced an incredibly honest portrayal of life. Though she is likely more well-known than most of us, her stories sound like they could be anyone's, regardless of sex, sexual orientation, sexual experiences, upbringing, religious beliefs, and whatever else you've got. Everyone has experiened a struggle between what they desire and what they feel is right for them to desire, and she tells of this struggle beatifully and without compromise. EVERYONE should read this.

Palac's ability to reveal the personal and sometimes painful elements of her psycho-sexual journey are rivaled only by her wonderful sense of humor. _The Edge of the Bed_ is a page turner that made me and several of my friends laugh and cry--a rare feat of personal honesty.

This glib and engaging autobiography is easy to like, hard to put down, funny and sweet, and I wished for more. Palac's lucid recitation of the facts of her birth, happy midwestern childhood, and undergraduate years seem as though she's told them many, many times before. But she's witty and cute and very bright - also adventurous and "fierce" (her term). She's kind, too. But being brought up Catholic - and the grim-to-hilarious results - just isn't enough to explain her unusual and interesting career. The best - because the most heartfelt, detailed, and surprising - chapter is on an explicitly sexual, consensual, and obsessional relationship with a man, "Stephen," whom she met online. She fell in love with him. He was reluctant to meet her, but Palac insisted, and they eventually did meet, and continued their love affair. (She's a romantic, too.) Palac is a spirited, smart, and magnetic person; I just wish she'd slowed down and gone a bit deeper inside herself (no pun intended) in order to write her autobiography, because she's well worth the time.