The Craggy Hole in My Heart and the Cat Who Fixed It: Over the Edge and Back with My Dad, My Cat, and Me

I am not a cat person or a dog person, so when a friend told me I had to read this book, I was willing to pick it up, but a bit wary.The title is way too sentimental for this incredibly deep, brilliant, laugh and cry out-loud book. From the first page, I was hooked--and I never put the book down. Once I finished it, I started it again. Like all of Geneen's books, you have the feeling that she is talking right to you, about you, about your life, your family, your friends, your feelings. One more thing: this is not a book about animals. If you have ever loved anyone, if you have ever lost or are afraid of losing anyone, you will kiss the ground at having found this book.

This is one of the best books I have read on dealing with grief and loss. Any person going through the grieving process will appreciate Geneen's warmth and humor. Cat lovers will find this book to be a necessary addition to their library. Highly Recommended! Diana

Okay, I admit it: I'll pick up almost any book with the word "cat" or "dog" on the cover. I'd never read Geneen Roth before, and I didn't expect to like this book very much. But this book won me over the way Blanche won over the author: slowly and subtly.Roth was in a position to be a great cat-owner. She lived in a city with access to alternative veterinary medicine as well as cat therapists, groomers and more. So when Blanche entered her life, Roth's love spilled over. And it couldn't happen to a nicer cat.I must admit I turned the pages a little faster when Roth panicked about losing her cat. Blanche is tougher than he looks, I wanted to say. Many people will find parallels with Roth's family in their own lives -- or their friends' lives. Roth tells the story movingly, but matter-of-factly, without self-pity.But Blanche remains the hero of this book and Roth's life. Perhaps the most telling passage comes when she writes that, "Blanche is like food once was -- he doesn't talk back, he doesn't hit, he doesn't go away...also, and I think this is important, he doesn't have any calories."Blanche really does fill a hole in the author's heart but, unlike food, Blanche helps Roth grow and accept new relationships. Roth acquires not only a husband but also a dog. And she takes on a spiritual teacher, distinguished from a therapist in one of the best sections of the book. A therapist, says Roth, helps you heal the damage from what was done to you. A teacher helps you heal from the way you reacted to what was done to you. The perfect gift for a sensitive cat lover. Then again, what true cat person isn't sensitive?

I fully expected Geneen Roth's book to be moving and interesting - as are all of her books. But this book took me to new places. As the father of an adult daughter, the book brought me to a completely unexpected place of love and compassion for my child. Through her deep and personal disclosure, Ms. Roth has informed my own relationship - the need for honesty and transparency, interpersonal integrity, and, above all, extreme sensitivity to my child's needs and view of me. This book should be required reading for all men.

I wrote this review for my enewsletter (www.StressEating.com) I guess it was no accident that I read Geneen Roth's new book on the way to visit my dad. "The Craggy Hole in My Heart and the Cat Who Fixed It" captured my heart, as all of her books have. This book, however, is not about emotional eating per se, but rather about the emotions and the stories that can drive the eating.No matter what role food plays in our lives, it is inextricably linked to our desire for love and acceptance . . . and you usually don't need 6 degrees of separation to get there.Geneen addresses these issues better than anyone I know. She has lived her life untangling them and teaching the rest of us how to do the same. For example, in regard to her fear of her beloved cat's death:"It occurs to me that I can spend the rest of my life (and his) in low-level panic, or I can take a leap into the suffering, and make friends with fear, pain and sorrow. It is the same juncture I reached with food, when I realized I could keep being frightened of going off the diet and eating so much I'd end up weighing a thousand pounds, or I could stop dieting and discover if there was a bottom to my hunger."Again and again Geneen lays it all on the line - this book is fresh, vulnerable, edgy and funny. In it, she confronts the honest, raw truth of her life, of her relationships . . . and takes us all along for the ride. And what a ride it is! Geneen tells us the story of how she sold her soul for the love of her father, how she learned to love (with 20-lb. cat, Mr. Blanche in tow), to BE loved and to confront the truth.In coaching, I sometimes ask my clients, "What's the lie?" meaning - where are you lying to yourself? With integrity and courage, my clients learn to face the truth by shedding the lies.In shedding her lies, Geneen also sheds the skins of her childhood. Psychological researchers now believe that we do NOT have to be prisoners of our childhoods. As human beings, we are amazingly capable of rewriting our childhood stories. Geneen reminds us that "unless we question them head-on, we believe them for the rest of our lives."So I appreciate THIS visit with my dad even more, savoring family memories, and feeling just a bit more capable of facing the truth and the inevitable.Through Geneen's example, we learn that we can rewrite our stories to better serve us as adults, so that we can flourish in our relationships and in life. Through her openness, we learn how to handle even death without emotional eating. It makes us feel as if anything we think or feel is ok . . . someone else has felt the same . . . or worse. Now there is a lesson learned.Here's to facing your truth,Carol