The Christian Lover

This is a great tour of some of the letters that various well-known Christian couples have written to each other. The letters are intimate, warm, and also sometimes very casual and ordinary. They are well chosen and give a good view of this throughout church history and in different places and circumstances. The book is not long, and yet it has some serious "weight" to it, there is a lot to be gleaned from these letters. I highly recommended it to anyone who is or will be involved in a Christian marriage.

The Haykins put into print invaluable dialogues between twelve historically Christian couples. The selection of letters are intended to "reveal the full range of the experience of Christian marriage, from the first flush of love to the ups and downs of married life to the experience of grief when one of the spouses goes to be with the Lord of glory." Distinctly, the Haykins introduce their work in a way that probes the reader to see how Christian marriage really is; that is, opposed to Roman Catholic writers of the middle ages. For example, Jerome, the fourth-century Bible scholar is cited as believing that those who were closest to God in the historical narrative recorded in the Scriptures were all celibate. The Haykins debunk this false belief by this selection of letters being published. Reading biographies are immensely helpful to the Christian, and especially the pastor, but biographies are only as good as they reflect the real person considered, with his or her positive and negative traits. Though The Christian Lover, is not necessarily a biography, The Christian Lover ensures the best resource for knowing these historical and admirable figures of the faith, because we get to read their very words. In The Christian Lover, you'll read Martin Luther's humor and sense of responsibility to pray for his wife, Katharina, and to encourage her faith; you'll read about the intense grief that John Calvin had over his wife's death, and the steps he took to relieve anxieties that his wife had about the future of her children after death; you'll learn about John and Lucy Hutchinson's example of making their children aware of the love they had for each other as husband and wife; you'll read about Philip and Mercy Doddridge's dealing with being away from each other; you'll read about the use of poetry in communicating love, in the letters of Benjamin Beddome to Anne Steele; you'll read Henry Venn's efforts to direct his wife's affections first to God; you'll read love letters of Thomas and Sally Charles, evidencing the need to be best friends with one's spouse; you'll read Samuel Pearce's letters to his wife Sarah, exemplifying how husband can comfort his wife during trials; you'll read Adoniram Judson's letter to his wife's father, which teaches on the importance for spouses to live together and not in separate worlds; you'll read how to ask forgiveness in marriage from John Broadus; you'll read how vital the role of a minister's wife is from Martin Lloyd-Jones; and you'll read Helmuth Von Moltke's words written to his wife illustrating a love that is stronger than death! The Christian Lover, is a feast for the Christian man or woman who wants to know how the Gospel is put on display in marriage in words; and how valuable those words are! [A free copy of this work was provided by Ligonier Ministries for this review]

Marriage is under attack in our day; there is little doubt about it. We need only look to the divorce rates among professed Christians to see that believers have been far from immune from the spirit of this age. In his new book The Christian Lover: The Sweetness of Love and Marriage in the Letters of Believers, Michael Haykin says that "reading expressions of love from the past can be a helpful way of responding to the frangibility of Christian marriage in our day." And so he offers a collection, a small anthology, of letters from husbands to wives and wives to husbands--letters that share the beauty of the gift that is marriage. The book gets off to a bit of a slow start with letters from Martin Luther and John Calvin. Luther's letters to his wife Katherine display more of a strange sense of humor than a passionate love for his wife while Calvin's, which are actually letters to others after the death of his wife, show a man who grieves for the wife he both loved and respected, but who reveals little about that love. However, Haykin states that he included these letters to combat the common but false perception that Calvin was a dour man who lacked passion. The next letter is one from Lucy Hutchinson to her children, telling them of the love she shared with their father, John, a Puritan military commander. The book continues and grows increasingly interesting chapter-after-chapter. There are letters between Phillip and Mercy Doddridge, Thomas and Sally Charles, Samuel and Sally Pearce, and others. Allow me a moment to share a few of my favorite excerpts. On the first day of a new year, Adoniram Judson writes Ann, his wife-to-be of the life that awaits them on the mission field: May this be the year in which you will change your name; in which you will take final leave of your relatives and native land; in which you will cross the wide ocean, and dwell on the other side of the world, among a heathen people. What a great change will this year probably effect in our lives! How very different will be our situation and employment!! If our lives are preserved and our attempt prospered, we shall next new year's day be in India, and perhaps wish each other a happy new year in the uncouth dialect of Hindostan or Burma. We shall no more see our kind friends round us, or enjoy the conveniences of civilized life, or go to the house of God with those that keep holy day; but swarthy countenances will everywhere meet our eye, the jargon of an unknown tongue will assail our ears, and we shall witness the assembling of heathen to celebrate the worship of idol gods. We shall be weary of the world, and wish for wings like a dove, that we may fly away and be at rest. We shall probably experience seasons when we shall be "exceeding sorrowful, even unto death." We shall see many dreary, disconsolate hours, and feel a sinking of spirits, anguish of mind, of which now we can form little conception. O, we shall wish to lie down and die. And that time may soon com

YAY !! I'm the first reviewer. I'll never forget my pre-marriage counsellers advice. "Write down why you love each other, and what made you want to marry your wife. Then when you go through tough times, what you've written will serve as a reminder." I chose to read this read book for various reasons. But mostly because I felt a bit "doctrined" out. Not only that but I must admit that I am a sucker for love letters. I find them intriguing. We hang onto these small bits of paper for years to come. We cherish them and are so uplifted when we read them. I hope this book will spur me to write a few for my own beloved wife . The book is a short read, coming in at 99 pages. Each chapter is devoted to a married couple from theological history, albeit exclusively from the Reformed and Puritan traditions. However apart from Luther, Calvin, and Lloyd Jones, I had no clue who the other people were. The book opens with a short introduction on the history of Sex and Marriage through the theological ages. Each chapter gives a brief introduction to occassion of each letter and background information to each couple. Chapter 1 - Martin & Katharina Luther - Martin's safety must have been a worry for his wife for he writes to assure her God is in control. Its understandable given his opposition to the Catholic Church at the time, and the "civil" war that followed. Luther describes an amusing incident when his travelling party was accosted by a large anabaptist woman who tried to re-baptise them with water and ice. Chapter 2 - John & Idelette Calvin - Calvins letters are written following the death of his wife. He writes to several colleagues to express his grief, and tell of the final moments of his wifes life. They were very moving. Nearing her death He told his wife he would not neglect his duty to look after her two children from her previous marriage. She said that she had already committed them to God because he would not take anything lightly that was committed to God. Chapter 3 - John & Lucy Hutchinson - This is an excerpt John's memoirs written by Lucy (who always refers to herself in the third person) and addressed to her children . She was one very loved woman. "No man had a greater passion for a woman" according to Lucy. Children should always be aware of the love parents have for each other, and that the ultimate fountain of that love, is the love poured out for us on by Jesus on the cross. Chapter 4 - Philip & Mercy Dodderidge - Philip longs to be with his wife, but while they apart he learns how to depend on God, and enjoy his presence. Chapter 5 - Benjamin Beddome & Anne Steele - This is an interesting one. Both were hymn writers. Benjamin proposed marriage to Anne, who rejected his proposal. We don't have her reply to Benjamin, but we do have a letter she wrote to her sister, saying she was happy as she was and had no desire to marry. Unrequited love is a fact of life, and Benjamin seems to have taken it on the chin, and marri