The Centerfold Syndrome: How Men Can Overcome Objectification and Achieve Intimacy with Women

This book helped me understand men more. It helped me understand how they are socialized by society to view women as sex objects. It also helped me understand how men are socialized not to feel their feelings, and how that helps fuel their sexual objectification of women. It also gave me hope that men can overcome their sexual objectification by learning to be intimate with their feelings with other men and with the women in their lives.

This book is THE book to read for men who feel like there's something wrong with the way the society defines and evaluates their sexuality and for women who think that there's something wrong with how men perceive (objectify) women. Brooks describes how most men learn to express their sexuality and says that the outcome is very bad and harmful for both men and women. He explains how women are perceived by men (as sexual objects) and why it is this way (what is happening in the male psyche and what are the psychological reasons). This book talks about the objectification of women and says that it is a very widespread male sexual pathology. It is so widespread that we almost don't see it, but it has a profound effect on our relationships with men and their ability to experience intimacy and sexual pleasure. Brooks gives some advice how to overcome the syndrome, but he leaves the specifics for individuals to come up with - because the details vary based on the different causes. This is an honest account on male sexuality from a man's perspective - very rare find. I highly recommend it even for those who just want to understand how the male-female sexual relations are taught to men in our culture.

Finally a man who can see the dangers and manipulation of pornography. I am glad that the other side of the story is being told as porn seems to be filtering into all aspects of our lives. Men are conditioned to look at women as sex objects from an early age. I do not see how anyone can argue that this does not have an impact on their views (especially in relation to women). Men are taught to look at numerous women - one is never enough - women who are naked and ready for them. Plus with airbrushing and computerization the pictures are not close to reality furthur adding fuel to the fire by reducing womeans self esteem to the very core - by judging us solely on how we look naked. Another area of concern is the number of women willing to deform and distort there bodies (usually with excessively large implants) and how this is glamourized in our society. Pornography is damaging to all members of society not just women as the book explains. Its time women and men were educated on the dangers of pornography. A great first step is to read this book.

This is a very worth while book. I've got 6 other books on the matter and this one by far gives men the most credit and options for improving their sexual outlook. I am a women who recently found out that her boyfriend had been hiding a cyberporn addiction even though he promised no more porn once we moved in together. He is 37 years old and picked this porn habit up from his father. He has gotten past much of his upbringing (the good ol'south) to see most women in a positive light--at least professionally. Big problem though that he compartmentalizes porn mentally as something that has no effect on our sexuality as a couple. I believe that he was enculturated to see women as objects for his pleasure and the book's author makes strong cases for this. Part of the problem is the Madonna/Whore thing and that the women in porn don't really seem like they are human at all to these guys--just parts to fixate on. Porn persuades men to seek self-indulgent fantasy and to shun intimacy with real women. This has really hurt our relationship because he's so fixated on himself/his body, that it becomes difficult for him to reach out to me even though we used to have a fantastic rewarding relationship just this time last year. I have read the book and feel better--I only hope that he will read it and do the work in the last chapter. We are in therapy now--but this sort of thing has all types of defenses wrapped around it and is fortified by denial and shame. Anyway--get this book, it is worth it. Just wish there was a workbook to go along with it. That would really help.

A study of why men are so attracted by looks. Brooks reviews the nature/nurture theories of standards of female beauty and, unlike other writers in this field, such as Wolf, Etcoff and the evo-psychologists, he goes on to offer solutions to the male side of the problem. The latter half of the book describes his group therapy for the "Centerfold Syndrome." I think myself that the answer lies in women changing their sources of self-esteem rather than in men changing their tastes, but this is important work and an important book.