The Cat Who Killed Lilian Jackson Braun

Too much cussing, rude and nasty

Britney Spears Gets Breasts Stuck In Cement Outside Graumann's Chinese Theater. That is a newspaper headline, drawn to James Q's attention by one of his beloved Siamese cats choosing it as a target for urination, and thus drawing it to his attention as a clue in a murder mystery. This is a parody, right? The second paragraph of the book goes thus: "The veteran children's book writer with worldwide experience pulled a robe over his 6'2" fiftyish, heavy-set, graying-haired, mournful-eyed, and luxuriantly-mustached frame." Remind you of anything? The `Q' in this case stands for `Qafka', not `Quilleran'. Incidentally, the title of the book appears to be a pun, at least that's what I think it's supposed to be. When I started reading this book, I thought it was very funny. The copyright is 2003, but somehow the thought of Britney Spears getting her breasts stuck in cement outside of Graumann's Chinese Theater still seemed very up-to-date. However, the book is rather rasty, in general, and after about 20 pages, I stopped reading it. Then, late one night, when I had run out of everything else to read, I picked it up again, and I managed to plow my way to the end. It does actually have some interesting plot devices, and in parts, it really is almost a `page-turner'. The author manages to weave the `Maltese Falcon', and `The Honeymooners' into his plot, in a fairly clever way. However, he does seem to have a real addiction to bodily function jokes, possibly to excess. Overall, the author seems to use a kind of shotgun approach. If one gross joke is good, then more is better. Perhaps if he wrote `Subtlety' on a Post-It, and stuck it on his computer monitor, we might all benefit. To those who would hazard this book, I say: you may feel slightly soiled when you finish, but there are a few gems amongst the offal.

This is a breathlessly funny and inventive novel. It takes all the conventions of mystery series books, with their beloved characters and their narrative caution, and it throws them into the wood chipper. It is a fearless comedy, willing to take on Philip Roth and The New York Times and Dashiel Hammett and send them into a whirlwind of musical comedy and raucous, sometimes explicit, sexual farce. The novel IS a farce, and either you've got a taste for that kind of anarchy or you don't. It's the literary equivalent of one of the Farrelly brothers movies. Or maybe the Smith brothers. Or maybe the Karamazov brothers. At any rate, it's a delight if you don't mind seeing literary icons reduced to slapstick cartoons!

I saw the author reading chapter three of this novel at Word Fest at the Forum Theatre, and I tried to find the novel, but found instead the audiobook. It's a wonderful performance of a very funny and sarcastic book. Arte Johnson, the reader, attacks the piece like an actor, and he invests each character not only with a distinct voice but with a distinct attitude. Perhaps his best characterization is a Sydney Greenstreet impersonation (from THE MALTESE FALCON) that he manages to hilariously sustain for about ten minutes. Definitely for "adults only" but a terrifically funny piece of work.

The Cat Who Killed LJB is an excellent PARODY of the "Cat Who" series and I really enjoyed it, AND I'm a big "Cat Who" fan! Mr. Kaplow incorporated a number of recognizable "Cat Who" images and concepts into his story. He correctly identified the essence of LJB's characters and peppered his with the exact opposite traits. Kaplow's "Mr. Q" has all sorts of sexual thoughts, foul language, encounters with obscene and disgusting characters, and some very questionable "friends". His plot has as many bizarre twists and memorable characters as a Jimmy Buffet novel. Yes, there is plenty of foul language and bathroom/bedroom humor. Yes, these are not the nice, pretty, pleasant people that you find in the LJB stories. Yes, it is seamy and scummy and disgusting. That's what makes it such a good PARODY of the "Cat Who" series, and when evaluated as such, it is a true gem. DON'T expect it to give you the same feelings that you get when you read a "Cat Who" novel - it should do the exact opposite, regardless of whether you like the "Cat Who" books. So, who wants a "Walnetto"?

This novel had me roaring with laughter. It throws all the "tastefulness" of the Lilian Jackson Braun series right into the toilet. And throws it there wtih such vibrant, non-stop comic energy that it leaves you breathless. It's like a 200 page standup comedy routine. Terrific. Audacious. Original.