The Brides of March: Memoir of a Same-Sex Marriage

The first thing I realized about The Brides of March was that it wasn't the usual impersonal polemic pushing for GLBT rights. Not that we don't need those who push political agendas: we do. It's just that I often find books about political movements rather, well, dry might be the kindest way to put it. The Brides of March is a refreshing change from dry - it's as wet as the diapers that need changing, the river Portland enjoys, the tears that are shed, the champagne you want to toast this couple with. When the book opens, the author has been in a stable long-term relationship with her partner Jannine for many years. The two of them are raising three children. Due to a temporary political fluke, Portland's Multnomah County issued marriage licenses without discrimination for a brief time in March 2004. The book is the author's first-person account of how she and her partner took advantage of that singular opportunity to be married; how their hearts were crushed when their marriage license was later nullified, and how they continued their commitment to each other and to their children through it all. She relates enough about their past to provide context and enough of their daily lives to provide a sense of what it's like to be part of their family. The author takes the reader along for the ride as they wait for the marriage license, go ring shopping, chase a toddler, welcome relatives to an impromptu reception, shed tears over rights subsequently lost, and feel righteous anger on vacation in Canada where "equal rights" actually means equal rights. There are other books on this topic, but few (if any) are written in such an intelligent, warm, witty voice. If you want to know what it's like to have the right to marry dangled in front of you, just out of arm's reach - this is the book you want to read.

Reviewed by Cherie Fisher for Reader Views (1/08) Other than being present at two close friend's commitment ceremony in Massachusetts, I have had little contact with the same-sex marriage issues until reading this book. I found it to be a wonderful commentary on same-sex marriage that should be read by everyone, especially people in the heterosexual community like me who should be more aware of what the bans on same-sex marriage have cost so many people. The author, Beren deMotier, tells the story about the joy that she and her partner of twenty years felt when the barriers to same-sex marriage in Oregon are suddenly lifted. Based in Portland, Oregon, the author and her partner Jannine have worked to build a wonderful life for themselves. deMotier, a stay-at-home mom of three, is a freelance writer who tells us her story in an often hilarious way in "The Brides of March: A Memoir of Same-Sex Marriage." On March 2, 2004, people were thrilled to hear that they would be able to get marriage licenses for same-sex weddings the next day. The author's partner spent the night outdoors with friends to be the first to get marriage licenses the next day. These couples were thrilled that their unions would finally be recognized by the state and they were to become known among their community as the `Brides of March.' Their story is often very funny as they rush to put together their weddings at the last minute. Many people in the community came out to support them and there were also many who were loudly opposed to same-sex marriages. It was heartbreaking for the `Brides of March' and their children when Oregon did not uphold the marriages and the marriages were annulled. The author and her partner even considered moving to Canada where their marriage would be recognized. It seems cruel to be granted something that you have waited almost two decades on and then later have it reneged on. It is so hard to believe that in 2007 in the United States that we are still talking about oppression and encouraging prejudiced behavior against a group of Americans through laws banning same-sex marriage. Hopefully, as more people become aware of the issues and stories like this one in "The Brides of March: Memoir of a Same-Sex Marriage" that this outdated view will change to accept all people who want to pledge their lives to each other.

Thank you Beren deMotier for writing such a fasinating book about yours and Jennine's life. Aunt Helen recommended the book and when I received it I could not put it down. People should read this so they can understand your lives and your childrens. I have told others about it and loaned the book to my daughter. I hope this summer to see Beren in Washington and have her autograph my book.

I was so excited to read this book and it did not let me down. It is a wonderful, witty account of life as one half of a same sex marriage. She shares honestly accounts of everyday life, past history and life struggles. Every politician in America needs to read this book.

As a middle aged straight man I did not think I would enjoy this book as much as I did. It gives people like me a wonderful window into the struggles and strengths of a Lesbian couple who are just trying to live their lives and be good people. As civil rights were to the sixties, gay rights are to this decade, and this book is about brave people at the forefront of that battle.