The Boomer Burden: Dealing with Your Parents' Lifetime Accumulation of Stuff

This is my second copy! I loaned out my 1st one and don't see that I'll get it back. This is a must have book for anyone trying to help a parent transition to a smaller place or if you are trying to clear out a parent or other family estate. It is a valuable tool. I have a business specializing in estate matters. It can get ugly and even after years of doing it I still need solid advice on some things that come up dealing with grief stricken family members! They need positive guidance and a trustworthy stable and neutral person to help. But you don't have to be in this business to get help from this book. Julie knows her stuff and can guide you on how to get a very stressful, emotional and overwhelming situation under control and get the job done! I encourage everyone to get a copy and read it Before you need it! You will be much more prepared with the knowledge offered in this book if you take the time to read it now. Then..keep it! You will need it some day to help you!

This book is a must read for anyone with parents or in-laws. It gives you a clue as to what to do with a person's lifetime accumulation of belongings and eases the guilt that comes with getting rid of things your parents have touched. If you are reading this book after having cleaned out your parent's home, it will make you feel better about not keeping everything they owned. It can help you come to terms with your sibling's behavior that may not have been in line with your parent's wishes. Reading this book will also give you a new perspective on your own belongings and the nightmare you may be leaving for your own children or friends. I highly recommend this book!

Author Julie Hall (a.k.a. The Estate Lady) promises, "This book will provide you with the trustworthy counsel you need when facing the monumental task of walking your parents through their final days and then settling their estate." She keeps that promise in fifteen chapters that deal with things like: - how to tell your parents are failing, - the importance of a will, - what an executor is and does, - how to protect the estate from grasping neighbors, friends and relatives, - how to ascertain the value of estate items, - how to clean out your parents' house, and more. Important points covered in each section are repeated within the chapter as lists, definitions, and words of advice in sidebar-type boxes. Each chapter concludes with "What Can I Do Now?" - a checklist of three pertinent actions for the reader to perform at that particular juncture of the process. The book ends with three appendices: - a checklist for parent care, - a list of helpful resources, and a list of estate documents, - information that children should locate and keep accessible. Though the subject matter makes this a hard book to read, Hall's sympathetic tone and reasoned approach helps the reader quell naturally arising angst in favor of paying attention to what needs to be done. Her wealth of stories and anecdotes keeps the book interesting. If the story of neighbors who cleaned out the valuables of a senile lady's house, paying her mere dollars when the pieces were worth hundreds, doesn't outrage you, some of the stories of family treachery will. Hall's real goal is to move the reader beyond outrage to action. If you are a boomer with aging parents, this book will motivate and guide you. It will show you how to set things up now while your parents are still alive so the estate isn't a nightmare to settle later when there is no will, no knowledge of where important papers are kept, and no list of who gets what. (However, if your parents have died intestate -- without a will -- it walks you through that scenario as well.) If you are a boomer or a boomer's parent, this book was written to motivate you to look after your stuff yourself and not leave it to your kids. If you're a boomer with failing parents, get this book. As someone who was executor of my mother's estate two years ago, I can vouch for how bang-on its advice is. I only wish I had had it then. If you're a boomer or younger, get this book in any case, not for your parents' estate but for your own. Follow its advice and leave your children one of the best gifts you can give them - a straightforward and well-administered estate.

I chose the perfect time to crack and read this book. My father and mother both spent significant time in the hospital last summer and they are getting up in years. The term "pack-rat" is also an understatement in describing them, they have multiple dwellings and outbuildings and all are stuffed. This book is about the delicate task of getting older parents and their baby boomer children doing everything they can to resolve property issues before it is too late for the parents to be involved. It is such a sensitive manner, because it involves the issues of facing your mortality, dealing with the thought or presence of a loss, the lifetime of memories that a baby boomer has, and the almost certain presence of multiple grandchildren. Merely one generation ago when children generally did not drift far away from their parents, there was constant physical contact between parents and their children. In many cases, they shared the same dwelling or had separate residences on the same land. Things are different now. In the modern world, children generally set up residence some distance away and lose track of what their parent's dwellings are like. Many of the parents also lived through the depression and so keep anything that could possibly have value. Hall recounts instances of dwellings packed with newspapers, old plastic containers, empty glass jars and old magazines that have taken years to accumulate. The elderly parents are often reluctant to explain to their children exactly what their assets are and who should be the one to receive them. Finally, as is the case in every endeavor involving humans and assets, the death of a parent often brings out the base element of greed. Not only among the descendents, but often among friends and neighbors of the deceased and it can appear before death if the person is mentally deficient. All of this in combination creates a veritable mine field of danger and Hall does an excellent job in describing ways you can prevent their being laid, detect them and even defuse them when encountered. I plan on implementing several of the suggestions put forward in this book and I strongly encourage people on both sides of the parent - boomer relationship to read this book with an open heart and open mind. Issues of life, death and inheritance are extremely difficult and the best way to handle them is early and with openness, honesty and without passion. Hall explains how to do all of these things in order for you to do the best you possibly can in a bad but unavoidable situation.

This is a great handbook for anyone dealing with aging parents, and for caring parents who want their children to know their wishes. If you do half of what Julie suggests, you will make your own life easier, your siblings and parents life easier. The book has great practical advice and it's written by someone who cares deeply about her subject. I've reccomended it to at least 5 people.

This is a phenomenal, poignant, and thorough examination into a subject area that is often overlooked. If every Boomer and their parent read this book, we'd have fewer family crises, fewer disputes to be settled by attorneys, and far less heartbreak after a parent's death. After you read it, you'll want to share it with everyone you know - regardless of their age!