Book of the Subgenius

"Bob" Dobbs is a madman and must be stopped!He is defiling the hearts, eyes, ears, and intestines of our nations' children! His insidious "slack orgies" and "suicide competitions" can turn your normal child into a deranged, slackjawed robot who pursues nothing but the teachings of this lunatic pornographer! If your children are acting "abnormal", are physically "ugly", or have been recently diagnosed with "ADD" or "HERPES" chances are they may have joined Mr. Dobbs' fraudulent sex-death-cult!Buy this book so you can learn to protect your family from the teachings of this devilish and dapper man! THEN BURN IT!!!

Assuming you never heard of the Church of the SubGenius, and their horrible, discordian, and nerdish beliefs...I'd say it's about time you did. BUY THIS BOOK.A true remedy for all the [junk] that clouds the minds of modern man. You might think you think, but you WON'T think the same after this thought provoking 'reveal all' tale. Life begins AFTER you look at this book for the first time. A true mind opener. Ever felt the popular, and organized religions are missing the boat, or that TV ad media are hiding the facts, or maybe that people are just looking at you weird because THEY just don't GET IT? The answers are here. This is truely a guide to fill in every missing crack, especially yours. Stang and Drummond (with the help of Bob Dobbs) have burst open the doors to a unique INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH CHURCH that will clear the cobwebbs from your eyes so you can replace them with a wool of your own choosing.Filled with passages fusing together the histories and religions of mankind's blatantly pointless path, the SubGenius detail how you can be freed from the bounds of this horrible present life style of common possession and launch yourself headlong into THEIR HELLISH HEAVEN of individual, spastic, self expression. Filled with plenty of illustration, clip art collages and snappy sayings meant to confuse the unworthy! You can read it in bits, or all the way through; it doesn't matter because you can't go back from this experience.A great organization, a ground breaking book, I still won't pay MY [money] to these guys. It might be TOO much Slack, but I'd just call it laziness, or prudent money management.

In 1993 I received an unexpected surprise: my brother and I were browsing through the Buck-a-Book discount bookstore in the Cambridge area (Buck-a-Book is a prime source for Slack!) one day, when he found a copy of the Book of the SubGenius on sale for one dollar. He showed it to me, knowing how I had pointed out "Bob" a few times in the past. I snatched the book up and bought it...after all, what's a buck these days? Plenty, as it turned out. I enjoyed the book immensely, and I thought the message of the Church of the SubGenius was a good one. This was back when memberships in the Church were still $20, and every so often I would look through the Book and say, "I should really send in the money and get ordained." But I didn't...because I didn't GET IT.But the pivotal day came in February, 1994, when Buck-a-Book came through again! This time I was browsing the store in the business district of Boston during my lunch hour, when I came across the book that was to change my life: "High Weirdness by Mail." ("Three-Fisted Tales of 'Bob'" was also on sale for a buck that day, but I didn't get it yet.) I picked it up and said to myself, "I really should get this - it's only a buck!" and I bought it. A good omen occured right there at the cash register: the cashier saw the book and he said, "That is such a GREAT book! I've gotten so much weird stuff from that book...my neighbors think I'm crazy!"So I read the book...and I WAS STRUCK BY A REVELATION! The rightings within this Sacred Tome were as much of an eye-opener as Rick had been! The chapter on dangerous hate groups alone was worth the cost of the book (the full cost, that is - not just a buck), and the book's musings on the philsophies of life and what is good (and what isn't) helped me to truly read between the likes of the Book of the SubGenius at last. YES! I was struck by the reality of the true meaning of the Church of the SubGenius...and it was good! It was something I already believed in! It was a cause worth sending money to! I finally GOT IT! Within the next week, I finally wrote out my $20 and mailed it in to the Sacred P.O. Box. I also went back to Buck-a-Book and got "Three-Fisted Tales" before it vanished, though I thought (and still think) that it wasn't as good as first two books had been.When you first read "The Book of the SubGenius," you may not GET IT. Only those of true Yeti heritage will be blessed with the vision that is J.R. "Bob" Dobbs...and one of those rare souls could be YOU. You MUST see the Book of the SubGenius. Even if you don't GET IT right now, you will one day...if it is right for YOU!

The question has oft come up as to who is the greatest writer of all time. Shakespheare, Dickens, Joyce, Aristotle, the writers of the Dead Sea Scrolls? Those guys... couldn't write their way out of a WET PAPER BAG. This I have learned after reading The Book of the Subgenius; razor-sharp wit, profound insight, and social commentary that is the TRUEST THING YOU WILL EVER READ. We need to airdrop thousands of copies of this thing across the USA like CIA leaflets over an impoverished Nicaraguan town. At first I thought perhaps Thomas Pynchon, Robert Anton Wilson and Hunter S. Thompson collaborated on this book, until I realized - IT'S STILL TOO GOOD! And that's when the horrifying, apocalyptic, pipe-smoking, grinning chaos of truth hit me like a Mack truck - BOB IS REAL!!! There is no alternative explanation.

At first, I thought this book was pure EVIL. So I burned it, only to have it appear that night (in perfect condition, yet still warm and a slight smokey odor) under my pillow. So I burned it again the next morning. Yep, you guessed it, under my pillow the next night. I began to read and spent the majority of the next 3 months with gut-wrenching laughter and tears of joy as this confusing world was clearified and classified into an eternal perpetual joke for which only BOB has the punchline. YES!, Brothers and Sisters, You too can be saved by the Grace of BOB. Eternal Salvation or triple you money back!!! No other religion can make such a hefty promise! This is the world's only admitted "for-profit" religion. This book has changed my life. Before, I was a low-life loser who never had any money, women, fun, or slack. Now I am a low-life loser who has no money, women or fun,.... .... BUT I HAVE PLENTY OF SLACK!!!!! PRAISE BOB!