The Book of No: 250 Way to Say It--And Mean It--And Stop People-Pleasing Forever

We all know someone who, like Oklahoma's Ado Annie, just "cain't say no." These folks accept every project. Every volunteer job. While everyone around them loves and appreciates them (or not), they're often tired and do little for themselves. Some people who fall into this group may not even realize they're on automated mode when agreeing to help. The Book of No contains 250 scenarios and how to handle them so that you say no. Before the entering the bulk of the book that contains the scenarios, Newman covers five basics to get you started with this No business as well as a 16-point No Credo to remind you that you have the right to say no. Saying no is a learned skill, and the scenarios can help the yes-person develop the courage to say no. Each scenario poses a question or statement followed by three parts: * What's going on here? - Explains the situation and possible motives. * Response - How to respond so the answer ends in a No. * Alert - A warning to help you the next time you get into the situation or contains insight so you better understand what's going on. A person who has the courage to say no may feel terrible and guilty afterward. The scenarios don't simply advise saying no, but instead provide honest and guilt-free responses. For example, someone at work asks if you're available for lunch on certain days. The response, "Thanks for including me, but I can't squeeze another thing into my crammed schedule this week." The scenarios are grouped into four areas for quick referencing: friends, family, work, and difficult people, which include situations with sales people and those who provide services. The book concludes with a bulleted list of key lessons to provide reinforcement to keep you focused on the road to accomplishing more of what you want and less of what others want. The brief introduction and conclusion with the well-sorted scenarios in between make the book a great tool for people who need support in their journey to say no.

I just love Dr. Newman's book. I'm a very over-committed person who hates to NOT please everyone. This book really empowered me to just say "NO" and learn to set boundaries for the people in my life.

I just read all the other reviews and I think I have to say "NO" to the reviewer who said this book is gender biased. My husband read this book before me and thought it was very well organized with a creative format and helpful to him (and he does not have a serious problem with saying NO). I do have the problem of knowing how & when to say NO and mean it. This book covers interactions with family members, friends, co workers and bosses and applies to men as well as women. As a result of reading this book, I have started to become much more focused on how I need to spend my time and energy, so saying I am sorry, I am overwhelmed with commitments right now has gotten much easier. Thanks to Dr. Newman, I am much less stressed about saying NO, which gives me the time to work on things that are improtant to me and my family.

Dr. Newman, or as I prefer to call her Dr. know-it-all, has finally defined the hardest word to say in the English language: No. She tells when it's appropriate, why you must use it, and the pitfalls that await us if we shirk from it, and she does all this with short, pithy, everyday examples guaranteed to turn meek yes-toadies like me into the sort of person who actually speaks her mind. Yes, Dr. Newman: I get it. NO is my new mantra.

Dr. Newman's book is terrific! Boy oh boy, do I ever wish I'd read it before I got snagged into doing a job that I never wanted to do. I was a wuss to have been so coerced. And now I feel "taken" and irked. Had I read THE BOOK OF NO a week ago, I would have known how to avoid such a situation. Henceforth, I shall be stronger. This is a book for all those who say "yes" too easily.