The Black Friend: On Being a Better White Person

Fredrick Joseph is humorous, kind, and pulls no punches in this beautiful book all about how to be a better white friend. Joseph shares personal experiences, trusting us, the readers, to not only hear but to listen. My favorite chapters were “Certain Things Are Racist, Even if You Don’t Know It”, “So Your Friend Is Racist. What Should You Do?”, and, “In the End: We Don’t Need Allies; We Need Accomplices.” I learned things I shouldn’t be doing: like wearing box braids. (Yeah kinda embarrassed that I didn’t know this was cultural appropriation). Things I should be doing: not just asking if a person is okay after a racist comment was directed to them, but saying something in the moment to the racist person. I also learned that affirmative action is actually used by a majority of poor white people and white women, and that it isn’t the handout I was taught it was. Fredrick (can I call him that?! I feel like a friend now!) also includes an Encyclopedia of Racism in the back of the book that includes terms such as “cultural appropriation”, “Intersection”, “Tulsa Race Massacre” and “Xenophobia”. Throughout the book he also tells us which movies and playlists and artists and people we should know about and how society has failed us if we don’t know them. For the record I didn’t know most of movies or music and only half of the books! Fredrick Joseph also interviews many different marginalized people: activists, media personalities, actors, authors, professors etc. The addition of these voices gave different perspectives but often proved the points made in this book. I am a slow reader but finished this book in just a few sittings. Joseph is engaging, concise and beautifully sincere. I do not take his effort and candidness for granted. This book is a gift to us white people. He wasn’t obligated to relive his trauma just to teach us what it means to be a Black person in America and how we white people can be better people. Everyone would benefit from this book. White people need to read this book.