The Best Day the Worst Day: Life with Jane Kenyon

Although this is so overtly a chronicle of losing a loved one, about the horrors of cancer and its various treatments, it is also a very real picture of what makes a good and lasting marriage. Although Hall and Kenyon knew the odds of their union lasting were very slim, given the 19-year age difference and her bipolar illness, they took the plunge, Hall noting that "all marriages start in ignorance and need; what matters is what you do after you marry." Fifty-five pages later, Hall affirms what makes their marriage last - "What we did: love. We did not spend our days gazing into each other's eyes. We did that gazing when we made love or when one of us was in trouble, but most of the time our gazes met and entwined as they looked at a third thing. Third things are essential to marriages ... Each member of a couple is separate. The two come together in double attention." He speaks further of what, for them, constituted those "third things" - John Keats, the BSO, children, pets, or Eagle Pond. The twenty-three years Hall and Kenyon had together had their ups and downs to be sure, but in the end love prevailed. This book is Hall's very personal love song, written just for Jane. Read it and learn what love is really all about. - Tim Bazzett, author of Pinhead: A Love Story

I recently finished reading Jane Kenyon's collected poems which left me missing her and wanting more. And so I picked up The Best Day The Worst Day: Life with Jane Kenyon written by Kenyon's husband--the esteemed poet Donald Hall. While the subtitle of this book is "Life with Jane Kenyon," I would argue that it is not so much about Kenyon's life with Hall as it is about her death, her dying. Yes, Hall does recount memories and vignettes of their life together, particularly how it was they came to live in their beloved farmhouse in New Hampshire. Mostly I found this touching book to be an exploration of a husband moving through the process of grief, of holding on, and of letting go. Throughout, Hall beautifully and matter-of-factly reveals what it feels like when the one you love dies, and what are those threads that carry you through to this end, and what are those threads that bind you to this life afterward: "Poetry gives the griever not release from grief but companionship in grief. Poetry embodies the complexity of feelings in their most intense and entangled, and therefore offers (over centuries, or over no time at all) the company of tears."

I saw Donald Hall read at AWP almost a year ago and decided then that I had to have this book. I was moved to tears in the reading. I bought it and it took me a while to have the time to read it, and then a month and a half to read. It is not in anyway shape or form, easy to read. Not only is language dense and medical at points, but somehow each technical word is embedded in a love that is as strong 10 years after Jane Kenyon's death as I imagine it was at Hall and Kenyon's marriage 35 years ago. It a book that moves you to tears on almost every page. And not only is this written in tribute and memorial to a life of love, but it is a catalogue of life for popular and well respected poets. Writing habits, readings, trips, the things you write and do to have the money to write, the way that dedication is your life.

I read an excerpt from this book in a magazine not too long ago. I was so moved by it that I decided to read the entire book. I'm glad I did because it is a wonderful piece of writing. In this memoir, the poet Donald Hall tells of his relationship with the poet Jane Kenyon. In it, he tells of meeting her, marrying her, living with her (first in Michigan and then in New Hampshire) and, finally, losing her to leukemia. "The Best Day The Worst Day" comes from a chapter in the book where, after a day when Ms. Kenyon seems to be recovering and doing well, they receive the news that her cancer will be terminal. However, it is also an appropriate title for the book because Mr. Hall alternates beautiful chapters of the "healthy" parts of their relationship with more harrowing chapters describing Ms. Kenyon's progressing illness. This is not a memoir for the faint of heart. Though there are beautiful passages of love and joy and living together in a rustic farmhouse in New Hampshire, death runs through the entire book, not only because we already know Ms. Kenyon's ultimate fate but also because her death is not the only one. Both Ms. Kenyon's mother and Mr. Hall's mother are elderly and, trying to take care of them and their ultimate passing just before Ms. Kenyon's is a strong thread in the book. There is also Mr. Hall's own cancer which is diagnosed a few years before Ms. Kenyon's that overshadows events. Ironically, Mr. Hall's cancer was expected to be fatal and yet he has managed to survive. How he has done so is somewhat of a mystery. The avalanche of tragedy that Mr. Hall experiences has destroyed others. But Mr. Hall has managed not only to continue but also to produce this wonderful work. Perhaps only those who have suffered through cancer the way Mr. Hall has can fully appreciate this work. Certainly, it is difficult to get through it more than a few chapters at a time. In the end, however, the model of Mr. Hall's strength and perseverance are something I think any reader will appreciate.

If you can handle reading a blow by blow description of a woman's losing battle with leukemia, don't miss this book. Donald Hall is a poet as was his wife Jane Kenyon. He has spent a lifetime mastering the economy of words to make each one count. His prose accomplishes the same thing....This memoir is breath-taking reading for its directness and beauty as it takes you through the graphic paces of a losing battle with leukemia against a background of exquisite love. I couldn't put down this book....and feel privileged to have chosen it without any prior recommendations. It is most unlikely that this will be a "best seller" because of its content....but if you appreciate fine writing and can handle this kind of content....you will be moved!!!!!