The Art of Talking with Your Teenager

One would think a teenager would appreciate this book since the author puts the onus of responsibility for communication square on the shoulders of the parents. As he should! He stresses self-understanding, determining communication goals, building a positive perspective, choosing words carefully and the "art of caring communication."One truly important thing that he points out is "ambivalence on the part of the parent is likely to be interpreted as license by the teenager." He suggests that rigidity is definitely not the alternative, but a clear committment to a system of values. Example is far more effective than preaching. "Do what you say. Teens are quick to spot hypocrisy."This book is a last minute fix for parents who haven't been working on communication with their children and, frankly, I don't know if it would work or not. Crucial to teen trust and communication is consistent interest from early childhood -- parents who not only instruct but LISTEN from the time the child begins to talk. It takes years and it takes effort...lots of effort. If you have a teenager and you don't know how to say "no," you're in trouble. Swets does, however, describe techniques to establish that authority. He also calls for improving your listening skills and gives feedback techniques to use when you disagree. You'll find graphs and charts for getting to know your teen -- and yourself -- better.There's lots of helpful information here but the time to begin to talk to your teenager is long before adolescence!

This book is simply written, but has many thoughtful and somewhat creative ideas on how to stay calm in difficult situations. I think that reading this book might just help parents and guardians who are frustrated and need a little guidance and encouragement. Not all of us came from Ozzie and Harriet households, and learning a few coping skills and hearing some concrete examples on HOW to listen can only help!I recommend this book to parents and others who are feeling a little stressed and a little unheard by their teenage family members.