The Art of Conversation: A Guided Tour of a Neglected Pleasure

Catherine Blyth's The Art of Conversation is a wonderful excursion into the mind of a modern conversationalist. While some may open this book thinking it is a straight-forward instruction manual that will give an empirical formula for successful conversations, most are no doubt pleasantly surprised that it is so much more than a how-to booklet. Catherine takes you through the situations that so often happen in conversation giving her own witty anecdotes and opening the mind of the reader to the art of listening and interpretting visual as well as vocal cues during conversation. I find her sections on listening and knowing when to speak as well as the proper use of silence particularly important. Too often is this overlooked in favor of always finding something interesting to force down someone else's throat. These sections alone make it worthwhile to check this book out. Also, her free-flowing openness leaves room for you to experiment while less confident speakers will get helpful straightforward tips. She not only has helpful step by step sections juxtaposed with (supposedly) real-life experiences, she has a sense of humor that most anyone can appreciate from time to time. Finally, it is always a positive when the author is accessible and helpful, personally to the average reader. At the end of her book she leaves her web address to her blog and really does value your input individually. The art of Conversation is a brief but worthwhile glimpse into the mind of an expert conversationalist that promises to teach you a thing or two that you do not already know or think you know.

I am very happy to have found this book. Although some who are already expert conversationalists may not need what this book teaches, I certainly do. Another author writes about the "Curse of Knowledge," which comes about when one knows a subject so well that it becomes extremely difficult to understand what it is like for those not so accomplished. It becomes nearly impossible for the person so afflicted to teach to neophytes. Teaching and learning are both cut off. As one of the lesser beings in the art of conversation (perhaps at the lowest rung), I see that Catherine Blyth has the great knowledge and does not suffer from the curse. She understands what makes for great conversation, what gets in the way, and why some of us find it so difficult. To the extent that any one-way expression medium such as a book (or speech, or performance) can approximate two-way conversation, I believe Ms. Blyth does it well in her book. It is as if she has asked me and listened about why conversation is so difficult for me, and then offers guidance while seemingly still listening. In certain professions, predictability, processes, inputs/outputs, response times, efficiency, and flow rates rule our interrelationships with people, machines, and systems comprising both. We study and practice these modes of communication and become very good at it. But of course machines are not people and people are not machines. An interaction between people need not have a direct or "practical" purpose. But the indirect result can have immense practical value, as the rise of professional and social networking proves. So, while we can study intricate and well-defined protocols used within systems of math, science, engineering, medicine, and law, some of us have lost the art and benefit of human conversation. Some of us actively avoid it. Ms. Blyth shows us how to get back into the game. The book is delightfully unpredictable, as is life and conversation. That makes it even more enjoyable and effective. Perhaps some lessons are repeated. If so then they appear in different clothes and in different contexts that help refine the lesson and thus make it stick. I loved the references to ancient and modern masters. Yet, one size does not fit all. We have to find our own way and style. Life is not formulaic. You have to think. The book provides inspiration, guidelines, and encouragement to engage; and then to practice. In her Acknowledgments, Ms. Blyth writes that, "studying conversation can feel like chasing butterflies." Yes! Have any of us not chased butterflies with another as children? Was that activity driven by some production quota? As with other arts, conversation can have practical purpose, or just create a bond among human beings. The Art of Conversation supports both, and helps those of us who have become too much like machines.

You're probably reading this review because the digital peripherals of the internet (matrix) have brought us together. This is a good thing and a bad thing. One bad thing is that the internet and other technology have gotten so good at things that we are getting so bad at basic things. Did you go home as a kid and talk to your friends on AIM instead of playing baseball in the sandlot? Well you probably could use this a bit to spruce up your basics on communication. Just don't read it on your iphone please! About the language used in the book: Yes she is British so it can be difficult to read at time, but the benefits of reading this far outweigh the silly cons. Buy this book used for $3 and improve or "change" your life.

A thoroughly enjoyable read. The book makes an excellent case for learning to enjoy the pleasure of conversation in a modern world. The author displays a sharp wit and adroitly weaves in an eclectic array of examples to gently chide, educate, and deliver practical advice. As you read you find yourself being drawn in and agreeing with the author, which perhaps is a testament to the same skills being taught in the book itself. She is clearly a erudite woman and has packed a lot of good information in a small space. You'll learn a lot about conversation and get quite of few laughs too. It is definitely a book I will reread in the future and highly recommend to friends.

Catherine Blyth's new book is a real delight: "The Art of Conversation" reminds us how good it could be if we all started talking to each other again. There's pithy advice (worthy of Nietzsche, but funnier); lively examples spanning the entire human experience (from ancient history to modern pop culture); advice on bores (how to deal with them, how not to become one); why difficult conversations are joyful and why small talk matters; how to open doors with a simple question like "are you praying?"; and, most importantly, the correct etiquette when confronted unexpectedly with a cat. The author writes brilliantly and in a style that is itself a call for better, sharper words. Her breadth of knowledge is awe-inspiring and her wit is electric; and yet the reader is made welcome, invited in for tea and biscuits and not in the least intimidated, but charmed through and through. The winter holiday period has given me several opportunities to share this wonderful treat with family and friends, but I think this is a book for all seasons: I lug my own copy with me everywhere. Funny, wise, poignant, contemporary, irresistible, and ultimately very humane.