The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict

My husband and I were days away from divorce. We were each given a copy of this book the night before our court appearance by a dear friend. He could see how much pain both of us were in and wanted desperately to help us. He had already attended The Arbinger Institutes training and had read all of their books; most recently, this book. He knew how powerful its message is to the right heart. There was a lot that transpired during the 18 hours preceding the court hearing. A lot of this book was read. Hearts were softened & changed and two prideful, selfish individuals became new people. I don't use this lightly when I say it helped facilitate a miracle in our lives. We have a long ways to go, but at least we will be traveling it together and we now have hope for ourselves, and for our marriage and "The Anatomy of Peace" has much to do with it.

I read this while taking a train to a meeting, and when I got back on the train, I re-read the entire book all over. I was absolutely blown away. The authors of the book, the Arbinger Institute, have discovered the secret to world peace--and to domestic tranquility in your marriage and family as well. Coming as I do from a turbulent family, I recognized the push-pull issues that make people enemies who should love each other. And I recognized when in my life I decided to have peace in my heart and when I chose to be at war in my heart instead--and what the results were. Here is a system of engaging with everyone you meet in order to have peaceful relations. The book starts with a story about a family taking their paroled drug-dealing son to a desert retreat and rehabilitation program run by an improbable pair of an Israeli and and Arab. The parents drop off the children and then spend a couple of days with the program therapists before leaving the kids behind. Suprise; the book is NOT about the desert survival experience of the kids; we only learn of this obliquely throughout the book. Instead, the parents learn how to deal with each other and their world with a peaceful heart. The system of teaching involves some parables, stories, charts and a pyramid starting at the top with "correction" but supported below with teaching, listening, and otherwise dealing lovingly with your fellow man. The philosophy of Martin Buber is some of the basis for these important teachings. Buber stated that people either dealt with each other as I-YOU or as I-IT. When people deal with others as "it", we get everything from the person who is yapping on a cell phone while they carelessly careen through a parking lot to wholesale slaughter of people for being the wrong religion or race. From Buber's teaching, we learn how peace in our hearts is when we deal with I-YOU and when we turn our hearts to war, we've turned them to I-IT. This is a most important book and I recommend that everyone get a copy of it and read it. And read it again. Your life will NOT be the same. It will be better.

It is difficult to imagine the amount of information packed into this one small volume. We get a great dose of history, tenets of at least four of our great religions, and a great gathering of good old common sense. I must be honest, when I first picked this volume up, I was not overly impressed. As I read though, I became absolutely fascinated. The more I read, the more fascinated and interested I became. Hate to admit it, but this one can be classified as a page turner. I have been in the business world, the military and teaching for over 45 years now. So much of what I found here, the advice, the perceptions, I knew I knew, but was unable to articulate them. This book did this for me. I do a lot of seminar work for various organizations and companies dealing with personal relationships. Information in this work will certainly be a part of my arsenal from now on! The basic message in this book is that it all comes within. This includes success with your friends, family job and indeed, could well work on an international level. What seems so simple, in reality is quite complex and this book goes along way in untangling the complexities of interpersonal relationships. This work would be great for teachers, ministers, civic leaders and company executives. The text is quite readable. Each argument is addressed in a forth write manner. The book not only tells you why, it goes on to tell you how in very simple, easily understood manner. No book can solve all your problems. The same thing can be said of a tool, i.e. no one tool can completely build a house alone. This book is indeed a tool you should add to the others...your management tool box so to speak. You most certainly will get a better house for it. This is one you need to add to your library. I cannot recommend it highly enough.

The Anatomy of Peace couldn't come at a better time; just look at the headlines of any newspaper or news website. Arbinger has a wonderful way of leveraging the lessons of history to teach us yet again the wisdom of human experience. Whether we struggle at home or work, we all live one whole life. The elegant simplicity of the stories and examples in this book serve as both a wakeup call and beacon of hope for anyone seeking a more productive, peaceful, and fulfilling life. I've read the book three times and will read it again soon as a constant reminder to myself that choice is always within me. This is a great book for any leader in any environment seeking to lead more effectively and create more positive impact.

I stayed up until 3:00 in the A.M. the day that I received the book and finished it that same day. It's the prequel to Leadership & Self Deception, and it continues to develop many of the same principles. In this book, however, they step away from the business atmosphere, and focus on changing yourself to effect change in relationships in the home, and between nations. I am confident that if everyone in the world read and understood the principles in this set of books, it would literally solve most all of the world's problems; problems at homes and with families, problems in the workplace, and problems between societies and governments. At the very least this book will change your perspective and change your life. It's due out in August, and I recommend it to everyone. [...]