The Alphabet of Manliness

Remember the old Mortal Kombat games, where one could perfectly maul one's opponent and receive a "Flawless Victory"? That is how I envision Maddox standing over the smoking ruin that is the NY Times Bestseller list, laid waste by the ultimate precision that is his Alphabet of Manliness. Maddox himself is well-known as an Internet legend, latter-day pirate, and scourge of poseurs. However, absolutely no familiarity with his online work or workings is required to appreciate the glory of this novel (although if you haven't seen his website, you should start there to build up the soul callouses needed to survive this book in the likely event that you are not nearly man - or woman - enough to handle it). This book stands in its own right as simultaneously parody, truth, and a ringing indictment of all things pathetic, tame, and child-proofed in our modern world. Indeed, I can only assume Maddox and his team of lumberjacks personally went out and killed the very trees whose flesh makes up this book. As with all types of perfection, singing this book's praises is much easier than imagining what it is missing. I cannot think of a single thing. Everything from precise instructions on the proper drop-kick to the ring on Chuck Norris' finger to a depiction of beef jerky using a chaingun on vegetables is here for your consumption. What more could you want? Or, more importantly, what more could you possibly deserve? Nothing. Buy the book. Roar in hilarity at its uncensored mayhem. At least if you don't like it, it'll give you something to do on your one-way flight back to France.

The prophetic writings of Maddox are everything we had ever hoped for. If your so pathetic that you haven't ordered it already, ask a friend to choke you into unconciousness, and when you come around, pick yourself up out of the puddle of your own drool, clean yourself up to show The Book its proper respect, and get to the nearest bookstore to buy it.

We need a serious book review here and here it is: Maddox has always been a controversial figure. You either hate him or love him. "The alphabet of manliness," however, consistent with the usual Maddox style - witty satire and unique approach towards various topics, puts a stronger emphasis on the humor side which I believe is universally funny. The book covers such a wide range of topics that no matter who you are, how you feel about Maddox prior to reading the book, I assure you that you can always get a kick out of the book. I have been Maddox's fan for years. After four hours of diligently studying the book, I am confident to say that this book is the best of Maddox's work I have ever read, which even includes his classic piece (children's artwork). I found myself gasping for air from time to time when I was reading the book because I simply laughed too hard. In addition to the great verbal work from Maddox, his illustrators also did a fabulous job. Those illustrations in the book alone will lighten up your day and help you find why it is worth living in the world. Lastly, let me just say this: You will never find any other book like this one since it is truly one of a kind. This is the book that people will remember for centuries. You can only have a grasp of this extraordinary wisdom and unique perspective of seeing our mundane world through Maddox's eyes. Do get a copy and you will not regret it.

If you like his web site, if you have ever found yourself laughing out loud at work or school perusing his teachings, then you have to buy this book. Organized into 26 vignettes, one for each letter of the alphabet, this is no less than an encyclopedia of manliness written by the Master of Manliness, MADDOX. Each letter is a freaking hilarious elucidation of the conceptual architecture of manliness ("A" is for "Ass Kicking", for instance). Each vignette is between two and six pages long, and many are accompanied by butt-kicking and surprisingly well-crafted illustrations. Buy this book if you like Maddox. If you are a politically correct whiner, and can't handle humor about the sexes, then buy this book and read it twice. You need an injection of humor into your life.