The Age of Grief

With all that has come after, I hope no one forgets the quality of Smiley's early work. If you start out with her later books, returning to this one will have its rewards.

It's hard to explain. This book is a masterpiece. I have nothing more to add. It's a master work. Highly recommended!!!

I picked this up after the end of a relationship in the same spirit that I listen to sad songs-- to amplify my own emotions, remember that others have been there too, and gain some release. "The Age of Grief" was good therapy!The most wonderful story, in my opinion, was a heartbreaker called "Long Distance," in which a man released from a visit from a girl he no longer loves by circumstances realizes how her grief will be something he never gets over. This story is short and clean and unforgettable.The title novella is powerful on so many levels-- told from the pov of a man who realizes his wife has fallen for someone else and is desperate not to let her tell him about it, it is such a convincing portrait of a marriage, of family, of the layers of fear and forgiveness that intimacy brings. One of the children gets a dangerously high fever and the terror and the bonds of love remind us that infidelity is sometimes part of a relationship, not its definition.The only reason I didn't give this five stars is because while all of the stories are quick reads, well-written-- as is all of Smiley's work-- and occasionally even very funny, not all of them seem as grounded in the poignancy of emotional turning points. I was rather bored with "Dynamite," in which an aging underground movement protester from the sixties decides to reconnect with her family. That is to say, I didn't really think we needed that bit of plot-- I was far more interested in the family dynamics than the dynamite."Jeffrey, Believe Me" is a bit lightweight, doesn't seem to be a part of this volume really, though perhaps it provides some comic relief. "The Pleasure of Her Company" though is right up there with "Long Distance"-- friendship has its own jealousies and betrayals, and no happy couple can ever really be known except by themselves, as the lonely nurse who falls in love with her neighbors discovers."Lily" also lays out the issues of friendship and marriage-- friendship within marriage-- and how marriage is both more and less than romance.Ultimately, read the book just for "Long Distance" alone. It's a masterpiece-- and it will haunt me.

I think Jane Smiley is similar to Anne Tyler in her ability to understand ordinary people and the significance of home and family. Her characters have exceptional (sometime unbelievable) abilities of introspection and self-examination. They also seem to live somewhat muffled lives. Emotion is there, but it is observed rather than felt. These stories move slowly, building up layers of character and atmosphere through observations and spare dialogue. The last story, "The Age of Grief", made me think of Henry James novels like "Portrait of a Lady." Here we are looking very closely at daily behavior, signals and symbols that pass between people, the subdued drama of everyday life.

I first read this book ten years ago and loved it. Rereading it was just as rewarding. Now I am married and a mother and I find the story "The Age of Grief" captures aspects of marriage not usually described. What is it like to be knocked down by illness as a family, parents needing to muster up energy to care for sick children when they are wracked with aches and exhaustion themselves? Jane Smiley delineates such moments and portrays marriage with great insight.