The Adoption Triangle: Sealed or Opened Records: How They Affect Adoptees, Birth Parents, and Adoptive Parents

In 1989 I found my birth family after reading this book. A person from the MD adoption registry had suggested it when I contacted them. I knew my birth name and place of birth. When I read it I acted on what I read and was able to go to where I was born. The lady in the post office remembered when I was born (she was my neighbor) and gave me the names of 5 living relatives. The rest is history.

Touching on a current, pervasive, yet unfamiliar subject, the authors bring to light the intricacies of the adoption triad and the difficulties faced by all involved. From an adoptive parent's perspective, the nature of the relationships can be complicated. With the proper communication mechanisms, whether records are sealed or open will have little impact on the individuals involved and, I think that area has not been addressed in the book. However, that is not to say it is unworthy of reading. Those who are not members of the triad, or object to adoption, cannot regard this book with true sincerity and those involved can achieve a better understanding of all parties invovled.

This is one of the finest books ever written on the subject of adoption. Reading this book, in my opinion, is one of the best gifts that any adoptive parent could give to their child or to themselves. The insights provided by the authors are invaluable in helping adoptees, adoptive parents and birth parents alike understand the exquisitely unique and complex issues that adoption "triad" members face throughout their lives. This book dispels a lot of commonly held beliefs and myths about adoption, and provides a sober look at the reality of what it means to be an infertile parent, or a beholding adoptee; and it addresses the myriad of expectations that inevitably lead to hurt and disappointment. Armed with the knowledge and insights revealed in this book, adoptees and adoptive parents can forge a happier life together; and birthparents will find comfort in knowing that others understand their sacrifices. As a reunited birthfather and an advocate for better communications between adoption triad members, I highly recommend this book. Buy it ... it will change your life!