That Went Well: Adventures in Caring for My Sister

A refreshing story, That Went Well: Adventures in Caring for My Sister, is a book you will probably won't be able to put down until you finish it. The writing flows; the story is real, and author Terrell Harris Dougan writes with honesty, humor and heart. The story is about, "Irene," and tells of Dougan's years of caring for her mentally disabled sister. In this short 207 page volume, Dougan tells the history of her grandmother, her parents, her sister, herself and future generations with great wisdom and insight. Although her words are meant for those who care for disabled siblings or other loved ones, her advice hits home for most of us, I believe. Dougan never feels sorry for herself, but relates the struggles and heartaches (and backaches) of being responsible for someone unable to fully care for themselves, with good humor and gratefulness of having such a special sister. This does not mean the book isn't truthful; it is. I asked myself over and over while reading - could I do this? Would I be so willing and gracious; so accepting? Did I have it in me? This book is a salve for anyone who struggles with life and has ever asked themselves, why me? Do any of us really think we are going to leave this earth never being inconvenienced or never have been given a load that we screamed at anyone who will listen, we can't carry this and don't want to? I don't think so. So - if you feel you have been dealt an unfair hand and can't cope, this book is for you. When I started reading That Went Well, I thought how lucky Irene was to have so many loving and caring people around her. By the time I'd finished reading the book I was thinking, that the valuable lessons those around Irene had been taught could not have been learned any other way and those lessons are priceless. I honestly believe that anyone reading That Went Well will benefit and be touched. Bravo, Terrell Harris Dougan. A job well done, and thank you for sharing your story.

Let me start by saying that I could not put this book down. Could not. I turned the pages one after another riveted on the story unfolding before me. The author writes in such an engaging way that I was laughing, I was crying, I was mesmerized. I could relate, without even having a disabled person in my life, because really the story was about how life isn't how you expect it, isn't how you always plan it, but how it can always be beautiful anyway, how you can always find the humor where you least expect it to be. I can't recommend this book highly enough.

Terrell Dougan and her family are my kind of people; even at the sad points they're cracking jokes. Are we really that unusual? I hope not, because sometimes it's just better to laugh than cry, and it's more socially acceptable anyway. The story of Irene's life is an incredible one, from her birth in 1946 until now. I have to laugh at all of Irene's tricks to manipulate her sister and her caregivers; it's all SO true, and mental retardation does NOT mean stupid!! If you're afraid this book will be dull, drab, and depressing, don't be! I don't find it that way at all. It's human and real, but funny just the same.

I am so glad I chose to read this book from the list of selections I was offered. I laughed and I cried as I quickly turned the pages to find out what would happen next. This book is written in a very straight-forward style and was all the more interesting to me because the author did not sentimentalize or constantly moan and groan asking the eternal unanswerable questions "Why?". Caring for a mentally handicapped family member is a full-time responsibility and a sometimes onerous chore. But the love and the dedication of the family to each other shines through the pages of this often funny narrative in an uplifting and thought provoking way that for me was entertaining but also incredibly educational.

This is a humorous, wry, and above, all, honest look at the real ups and downs that come with growing up with and living life with a sister who has severe brain damage. Terrell's sister Irene was born with brain damage and while as an adult she achieved some autonomy and independence, her mental state is that of a young child, with all the charm and frustration that brings. My favorite story in her life is when Irene makes friends with the neighborhood firemen and amazes the neighborhood kids when she invites them to her lemonade stand. Terrell comes to visit her sister's lemonade stand, expecting to find her sister depressed and alone, and is shocked and overjoyed to find Irene's lawn swarming with children and firemen! The kids are climbing on the firetrucks and the firemen are showing off their equipment and drinking lemonade! But Terrell doesn't shy away from the harder parts of Irene's story, either - the times when she is manipulative or violent in her desire to have her own way. If you have a relative or friend with a mental disability, or work with people who are mentally disabled in some way, you'll probably find a lot of truth and joy in this book. I know few people with disabilities but love to read about other people's experiences, and I got so much from this book. The love and joy Terrell and her family find in Irene, even through the toughest times, is beautiful to behold. As one of my favorite writers, Barbara Curtis, would say (paraphrasing here) - in helping others reach their true potential, we find that they've actually helped us reach our potential.