Temptations Men Face: Straightforward Talk on Power, Money, Affairs, Perfectionism, Insensitivity

First published in 1991, this book is still in circulation for a reason--Eisenman talks about specific tempations. His focus is male temptation and he both advocates respect for women while reinforcing a sexually-typed take on sin. In particular, Eisenman speaks openly about sexual sin. 3 chapters are dedicated to machismo, lust and affairs, and then 3 on power, money, and performance (perfectionsim.) First, Tom acknowledges his own history of sin, with a clear description of fantasy, masturbation, and pornography. Second, he argues that sin is deceitful, persistent, and consensual. Third, he believes that while God gives us the power to overcome sin, we need to fight against it. He describes that fight with many examples, some from his own experience and some from friends and research. The book ends with a chapter suggesting that women not enable men to continue sinning by choosing co-dependency and an appendix giving 12 strategies for resisting temptation. Highlights include a clear description of why he believes his masturbation was a compulsive sin. I also liked the list he includes of 12 steps toward consummating an affair. To some extent he predates the Celebrate Recovery movement by citing AA's 12 steps and then summarizing them in 6 principles that form the acrostic "healed." At various points I was uncomfortable that the description of (sexual) sin was a little too "fresh." In dealing with our compulsive habits and persisting temptations, sometimes I felt he was recommending "white knuckling," e.g., hanging on by dint of our persistent effort. It is effective for a while, but usually ends in another round of frustration. Eisenman talks about this, but the book as a whole seems more focused on the "hanging on" part of the journey. Of course, that is where a lot of us spend a lot of our time in our journey with temptation, so perhaps its the right place to focus. In contrast, the chapters on money and power didn't have the same personal grip, so maybe I want things both ways here. I guess I would want to add that "white knuckling" may buy us some time, but we also need to address the fantasies and rationalizations that got us to the place that we needed to "hang on tight." The best thing about the book is that it doesn't minimize temptation and it doesn't suggest tempations will cease. Instead, it focuses attention directly on the daily choices we face with respect to some key areas of temptation.