Telling Each Other the Truth

I borrowed this book from a friend thinking it would help me to better communicate with others when I disagreed with them - how to speak the truth in love, etc. I got so much MORE than I ever expected. Backus exposes lies that we believe in about ourselves and others and makes a way for the Holy Spirit to bring change. I am now so much more aware of how easy it is for me to fall into manipulation (based on fears and lack of trust in God) instead of simply speaking the truth. It is an eye opener and I'm really grateful to have read it. I plan on buying several for our home-group as Christmas gifts because we can ALL benefit from his insights.

Backus' book is a refreshing read to communicate openly and lovingly with others and avoid manipulation.Among the many important points covered in the book include:1. When we lose integrity, we become a fraction of the person God created us to be.2. We fail to receive because we fail to ask.3. Do's and dont's for criticizing others.4. Characteristics of loving speech.5. God does not guarantee we will always be around people who will always act properly.6. Adding your own self-criticism to a person's critical remarks can stop people in their tracks.7. Do not pride yourself on not making requests.8. Attention and compliments are nice, but they do not determine our self-worth.Read and be encouraged to be less manipulative of others and loving them more!

As a minister of 22 years, I first read this book about a dozen years ago. It helped me communicate better to my wife, friends, and congregation.Since that time, I have loaned copies to numerous people I have counseled (I have a stack of these), and many have been helped through putting this book in practice.Backus encourages direct and honest communication. He deals with the lies we tell ourselves that keep us from speaking truthfully and directly. Besides aiding in communication skills, the principles mentioned will also increase personal sincerity and integrity.Practical, easy to read, illustrated with case studies, this is a must read for all Christians.

Dr. William Backus has done a great service in writing this book. Many big problems start as small problems, problems that could be solved with proper communication and unconditional love. Dr. Backus writes that by far the most frequently violated command of Jesus is "When someone sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone." Human nature wishes to tell anyone and everyone else but the person who needs to be confronted lovingly with the truth. The author uses his experience as a Minister and a Clinical Psychologist to guide the reader through the process of loving confrontation. Chapter titles include: "How to have a good clean fight." "How to Handle Critical People" and "How to say no." The only qualification you need to benefit from this book is to be a member of the human race who routinely interacts with people. No matter who you are or what your station in life, you will benefit from Dr. Backus' insights."Wear the old coat and buy the new book."

Dr. Backus helps the reader to accurately undertand what his/her rights are, and what rights s/he DOES NOT have, within relationships. He also details healthy ways to both manage, and avoid conflict; if at all possible. This is one of the best books I've ever read. (A good companing to this book is the book "Managing Conflict God's Way".)