Teen-Proofing: Fostering Responsible Decision Making in Your Teenager Volume 10

I read a book review of books written about raising children and John Rosemond was mentioned in passing in another person's book being reviewed. The power of these few sentences prompted me to look him up and I discovered TEEN PROOFING just before my oldest (of three boys) reached his 14th birthday. This book saved my family. I was not parenting effectively and John Rosemond straightened me (and my husband) out. Mr. Rosemond's no-nonsense "this is what's so" approach to directing teens is fabulous. As a result of following Mr. Rosemond's advice All three of my sons follow our rules, accept consequences and do what they are told almost all of the time. This includes housework, homework and work-work. We have family meetings, reasonably clear communications and respect for each other's commitments. I am truly grateful to John Rosemond for this book and I recommend it to any parent with teens.

I bought this book when my diabetic, ADHD son turned 13 and the book was very helpful. A year or so later, my oldest daughter - then 16 - was in a house fire and was burned over 15% of her body. After she had "recovered" she was a different person (new friends, the smell of pot smoke always around her, refusing to go to school, etc.) and although we placed her in therapy, she was spiraling out of control fast. One night I picked up my old copy of Teen Proofing and started to read it again. Although I knew that technically my daughter was in the "too late" category, I applied the techniques. I guess for me it was just a last ditch attempt...I didn't think it would work but I didn't know what else to do. Dr. Rosemond's advise isn't always easy to take and it is even harder to actually do. Sometimes the things he suggested felt scary, like jumping off a cliff and not knowing if the parachute would open! But slowly, we started to see changes. The day we sold her car was a turning point. She just about brought the house down with her screaming and anger, but within four months, she was her old self again. No drugs, the bad influence friends disapeared and she started staying home at night to "be with the family." I didn't know it then, but I know now, what we did was to show her that we were in charge and that we had the courage to make the hard decisions to keep her safe. Not long after we got our daughter back, she graduated from high school and currently - about a year later - she works full-time as a medical assistant and is making plans to begin college part time in the spring. I don't just "guess" that Teen Proofing worked, for us I KNOW it worked and I would recommend Dr. Rosemond's advice to anyone with the strength to see it through.

A MUST READ. A friend of mine offered this recommendation for this parenting book when I was frustrated with the friends my son was befriending. I loved the author's straightforward, no-nonsense approach to the teenage years. I have experienced the over protective, micromanaging parents that he refers to. I have also seen the "buddy" parents; neither style works in my opinion. I totally agreee with the concept that parenting styles must change after about 11-12 years of age. I loved the way the other fosters the idea of earning independence by your actions. I also thought the "teaching by example" concept was invaluable. I highly recommend this book.

I recently had the privilege of attending a lecture by John Rosemond in Simsbury, Connecticut. His humor and ability to cut right to the heart of teen problems captivated the audience and I walked out with my own signed copy of his latest book, Teenproofing. The beauty of the book is that it contains nothing revolutionary or new, just old fashioned, common sense practices that have been abandoned by most "psychobabble" parenting gurus of today. Clearly outlining the basic points of his theories into clever "c" words such as curfew, cash, car, child's choice of cohorts, conflict and consequences. Rosemond skillfully and humorously walks us through most of the common challenges parents and teenagers face. Above all, Rosemond encourages parents to "PIIP" (Put it in perspective) and reminds us that caring, well-intentioned parents just need a road map to get through their child's teen years. (Amen to that!) In the PIIP (Putting it in perspective) introduction of his book, Rosemond outlines three facts: 1. You are a responsible parent! 2. Your teen can do something really bad and still turn out okay! 3. You are not the only force in your child's life. 4. You can do the right thing, and things may still go wrong. He labels parents either "Micromanagers" or "Macromanagers" and gives valuable examples and strategies to help parents become macromanagers to their teens, thus fostering respect, learning and responsibility. Rosemond teaches parents to calmly establish clear consistent expectations and tangible consequences for misbehavior and to follow through. Sounds simple, doesn't it? An extremely helpful insight is that consequences do not need to follow immediately after the misbehavior to be effective. In fact, says Rosemond, it is beneficial to wait for a "strategic opportunity" to punish the child. This strategic opportunity punishes the child for something that may have happened hours and even days before. The fact remains that eventually, all children have to ask their parents for something: money, a ride, permission to go somewhere, etc. At this point, they are all sweetness and smiles and that is when you can strategically get the point across that their misbehavior has resulted in a consequence that they don't like and will likely learn from. His story about his daughter Amy not vacuuming the house is priceless and really hammers home the value of this important principle. I especially enjoyed the concept of the "Checkmate Move". In his book, Rosemond addresses most of the concerns and questions and frustrations parents face in raising teenagers. The final section of the book is devoted strictly to a question-answer forum where almost every conceivable dilemma is mentioned. With straightforward humor and insight, Rosemond cuts to the heart and core of the issue and doles out suggestions and advice, all designed to empower the parent in becoming a positive mentor to guide their teenager

For years, people have been asking me to write a book on teens. Well, here 'tis! I combined my experience as a parent (my children are now 29 and 26) and a family psychologist in presenting a management plan--a roadmap, if you will--for parents to follow in negotiating this potentially tumultuous time in the parent-child relationship. People who read parenting books tend to be micro-managers where their children are concerned. During the teen years, this tendency has the potential of backfiring BIG TIME!!! The purpose of the book is to help parents become MACRO-managers, mentors--to help parents learn that controlling the parent-child relationship is the key to a happy parenthood during the teen years, NOT trying to control the child. Remember, God couldn't control Adam and Eve. Furthermore, He didn't try. He controlled His relationship with them, nothing more. Even though I'm a psychologist, "Teen Proofing" is devoid of psychobabble. As my readers know, I think psychology has thrown a monkey wrench into American child rearing. This is the eighth book in a series intended to get our culture back on the track of common sense where kids are concerned. Parents! Learn how to manage the six critical teenage issues: curfew, cash, cars, conflict, consequences, and co-conspirators (friends) such that your child gains FREEDOM (what he/she wants) at the same time you gain PEACE OF MIND (what you want, right?) IT CAN BE DONE!! By the way, if you want to chat with me, see my Web site at www.rosemond.com. Thanks for your interest in The American Parenting Renewal Project. Happy Parenting! John Rosemond.