Talk Dirty to Me

I read this book in a weekend, and I'm a slow reader. If I had to sum up this book in one word, it would be "deprogramming". It teaches the reader to suspend his or her presuppositions and approach sex from a fresh standpoint. She breaks stride with the traditional feminist camp in her discussion of pornography and prostitution by questioning the ideas that many feminists (and I tend to count myself as one) take for granted. She discusses our "sex-drenched, sex-phobic" culture and critiques many of the philosophical ideas that underlie many common views. Highlights include her discussion of the Adam and Eve myth, Augustinian Christianity, sexual taboos, homosexuality, and transgender issues. At one point, she comments that most authors who write about sex do so in a way that seems as if they're afraid that anyone who reads their work will be afraid that they are actually turned on by the subject. Tisdale is not one of these authors. Her language is frank and honest but not gratuitously shocking. I teach a college philosophy course and we will soon be spending two weeks on this book. My students are eagerly awating those lessons. The current lack of interest that academic philosophers have in these issues is unfortunate. We talk about sex all the time and it is such a big part of our lives, yet so many think that the ideas that we approach our sexuality with are not worthy topics for rigorous examination and discussion. We need more writers like Tisdale who are willing to discuss these issues in an honest and intelligent way. Buy this book!

Tisdale's book is like a long essay by a compassionate, learned friend. She poses more questions than answers, giving us her opinions and insights without forcing conclusions. Tisdale allows us to reach our own conclusions about sexuality, but opens many doors on the journey. It's a small but powerful and thought-provoking book. I read this a few years ago when I first began to do male nude photography as a photo student. I needed to come to grips with my own and other's resistance to the male nude form. I found the insights in "Talk Dirty" to be especially relevant and valuable.

This is a brave writer and an original thinker. Pretty soon into reading this well-conceived excursion across America's bizarre sexual landscape, I began to think about the social aspects of sexuality in a different way. It amazing that our society condems depictions of sex for its own sake--as opposed to its use as a vehicle for advertising. Congress is all a-flutter about sex on the internet--but yawns at graphic violence on prime time TV. Just about every adult experiences sex fairly often. Just about no adult experiences lethal combat--often or ever. But which activity is okay as a subject of fiction, family television, classroom discussion? The flip side is that the feminist condemnation of pornography--Tisdale insists on calling it thus rather than the polite "eroticism" --can be seen as just as repressive as the attacks from the right. I didn't always agree with Ms Tisdale, but she was always interesting. I didn't really change my own sexuality as a result, but I feel more comfortable as a result of this "conversation." That's a strong recommendation for any book.

Forget those awful high school sex ed filmstrips - Talk needs to be on the reading list. Tisdale broaches delicate subjects with wit and empathy, leaving no room for ignorance. How many of us have stumbled through our inner sexual landscape without Tisdale's various validations of our highly individual "naughty-mustn't-touch" urges? How many of us are tormented by nights restless wishes, assuming no hope of release from our dark dreams?. I wish Mom could have handed me both The Joy of Sex and Talk Dirty to Me when we had our talk.

Sallie Tisdale has written an insightful, thoughful book about all aspects of the very important subject--sex. She traces the views of sex over time and across cultural bounds. Our own views of sex always seem to be the "most rational" until you read about how our perspective has evolved through the ages. An absolute must for eveyone who is interested in this all-consuming subject (and who isn't?)