Survival Games Personalities Play

Expanding on the work of Keirsey & Bates, Eve Delunas has not only managed to create a guide that offers highly effective methods of establishing a subject's psychological type with extraordinary clarity, but also provides a fantastic look into how differently each temperament reacts under stress. As if that weren't enough, Delunas then reviews viable treatment options before presenting eight case studies which allow the reader to put all of his/her newly learned skills to the test. I must say, this book left me impressed. Delunas' discussion of the weaknesses of each personality and how they deal with excessive mental pressure results in a truly unique piece of work that is an invaluable source for anyone eager to discover typology.

Dr. Delunas has practiced individual and family therapy in California for many years. The ideas contained in her book are rooted within an impressive lineage of psychotherapeutic theory, including: (1) the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), as explicated by her mentors, Dr. David Keirsey and Dr. Marilyn Bates; (2) Transactional Analysis (TA), the movement begun by Dr. Eric Berne, author of Games People Play, and carried on by Dr. Claude Steiner; (3) cognitive therapists in the school of thought of Alice Miller (Drama of the Gifted Child).The concept of neurotic defense mechanisms rooted in childhood abuse and neglect seems to be one of the few areas of Freudianism that continues to wear well historically, remaining firmly perceived as a useful construct in virtually all sub-specialties of psychotherapy in the U.S. today (rape and general trauma, addictions, grief, anxiety, deviance, violence, identity, childhood emotional and learning disorders, marriage counseling, family systems, etc.). Thus, a book devoted to this topic couched in the combined language of Myers-Briggs (MB), Jung (via MB) and TA is bound to be an exciting find for a great many therapists.Dr. Delunas offers a typology of unconscious "survival games" (neurotic defense mechanisms in action) based in the four MB types: Artisan (SP), Guardian (SJ), Rational (NT) and Idealist (NF). Each of these type-specific games shares distinct qualities: (1) They are destructive and potentially deadly if carried to extremes. (2) They are unconsciously chosen in hopes of improving serious life situations, but, instead, cause new problems worse than those they were supposed to fix. (3) They are based in feelings of worthlessness due to poor adjustment to life trauma, usually severe childhood trauma. (4) They invariably continue until the player is able to master the original traumatic event symbolically in a present relationship by responding this time around in a healthy, functional way (stop compulsively hurting himself or others in the same patterned way, in an unconscious, neurotic attempt to restore the painful past).I believe the MB type most likely to be enthusiastic about Dr. Delunas's ideas is the INTJ, for these reasons: (1) Observing your clients carefully in order to assess where they fit into MB allows you get to sit back quietly and analyze in a clear, systematic manner. (2) Identifying whether your clients are involved in any of the four survival games, how intensely they apply them and how firmly they are entrenched in them, allows further orderly armchair analysis. (3) Designing interventions, such as guided visualizations, for ending your clients' destructive games allows for additional analysis, with a fun fillip of N creativity thrown in. (4) Approaching your clients (in a standard cognitive-therapy manner) in the role of instructor/parent by assigning "homework" at the end of each session involves actually talking to the client, but it is still pretty safe for the introverted

As an Idealist it was EXTREMLY enlightening for me to read about the loved ones in my life and the "games" that we play with each other.Eve Delunas does a good job at identifying and disecting the different games that each personality is likely to play, and gives ideas on how to stop the "game playing" that is going on within yourself and the loved ones around you.Using her examples you can easily identify what games are being played and what you can do to take control and stop / counter them in an effective fashion.Easy to read with little background knowlege needed, this book is a must for everyone - parent, spouse, sibling. I recomend it highly. It alowed me to see the hidden agendas going on underneath the surface facade that we present to the world... A definite 5 stars!!!

Wow! A life-changing book for me, and I'd already read several books by Keirsey on personality types. In a nutshell, what happens when personalities go bad, and what you can DO about it!Have you already read "How to Get Along with People You Can't Stand" and were left wanting? This book will put you inside the mind of that malicious backstabber in your life, that stone-cold robot (I once didn't speak to my backstabbing rommate for a month!), that constant complainer or shape-shifting masquerader you understand so poorly but are forced to come to terms with. If you have the courage to take simple action, you can truly change your life and relationships with the help of this book. My rating? 10 stars with gold clusters.

Rather than rehashing MBTI type theory, Delunas extends it. She claims that each of the 4 different types has basic needs. For example, quoting from a figure on page 8: Artisans or SPs need to: be free to follow their impulses, demonstrate skillfulness, make an impression. Guardians or SJs need to: belong, do their duty, be responsible. The Rationals (NTs) and Idealists (NFs) have different sets of needs. When these basic needs are not being met, the personalities tend to repond by playing survival games, what Delunas identifies as "people's desperate attempts to defend themselves in overwhelmingly threatening social environments" (Delunas, 19). A figure on page 26 summarizes these 4 basic survival games, each of which has several variations. For example, Artisans play various "Blackmail" games to excite the self and punish others. Guardians play Complain games to excuse the self and entangle others. According to Delunas, many of the self-de! feating behaviors that people can get into could be best diagnosed as symptomatic of these specific needs not being met. For example, she suggests that most victims of spousal abuse are either SPs playing a Blackmail game called "shocking," or SJs playing a game called "doormat". The point of this model of behavior is to allow you to perceive the destructive behaviors as symptomatic of something else. This allows you to make a more productive response, either to change to address you own unfilled needs, or those that interfere with your relationships with other people. Delunas worked with David Keirsey for several years, and includes several case studies in her book. Highly recommended. Fascinating reading.