Surrendering to Marriage: Husbands, Wives, and Other Imperfections

I have been married for 14 years this september and though my husband is a wonderful man, I have questioned durring our marriage why we are still together becuase all the butterflies flew away so long ago. Though he is a good man, I felt guilty for feeling this way. A friend recommended "Surrending to Marriage", and I have found it to be so realistic and so full of trueth, that I was amazed that I was not the only woman (person) out there that has the feelings I was having. Surrendering to Marriage has really taught me that love is a choice and yes it is a lot of work. But that the butterfly's are only an emotion. There are so many divorces now becuase of the samethings I was feeling: Where are those butterfly's? This book tells true stories and since I have been reading Surrendering to Marriage I have found a new and deeper love and appreciation for him. Times change, People change, and yes even love changes, but we can fall in love all over again. I would recommend this book to anyone who is having a difficult time, or for anyone who is even thinking about leaving, or leaving there spouse for another. Let this book talk to you. It will have you embraced with trueth and logic.

If you're newly married or still in the romantic phase of your relationship, don't bother reading this book. Instead, buy it and tuck it away for the day that will inevitably come: When you feel frustrated, angry, or disillusioned. This book changed my attitude toward marriage. We don't have a perfect relationship because we are neither of us perfect. Krasnow helped me to see that the best thing we can do for marriage is to be truly committed to remaining in it. Instead of living with one foot out the door, I'm much more willing to work through problems and accept the things that aren't likely to change. It's caused me to put more effort into making things better whenever I can because the result is worth the sacrifice. Sure, the book may be "one-note," as other reviewers have mentioned, but that's a pretty powerful note: Once you give up the idea that your marriage is disposable or replaceable by something better, you can take comfort in the permanence of your relationship and focus instead on making it work.

This is a great book for newly engaged, newly married or those married 10 20 30 years. Have been married since 1966 and can attest to the authors wisdom, as far as giving readers a wake up call.It would seem that what she writes is simply common sense, but sadly common sense seems terribly lacking these days. Especially in an era when couples and women in particular (in my opinion) have bought into the myth that you can have the fantasy marriage, family and perfect kids. When what the author says so well, is that we need to start to buy into the reality that marriage is much more than the Brides magazine layouts and the mythological Ozzie and Harriet.She basically says, what I have always believed, and how we live our own marriage, that it is remembering that it is the vows of "for worse" "in sickness" "for poorer" and simply taking it one day at a time and realizing that this is a partnership between two unique people with their own needs and interests.That when we marry we are bringing our pluses and minuses into a union but that the other person cannot rescue us from our past or cure problems we had before we married.It is a book that I personally believe every public library should have, and that everyone can benefit from, since everyone comes from or knows someone who is married.

I am relieved that someone actually had the guts to write about their imperfect marriage. I think it helps to know that there are others that contemplate ending it all out of boredom or frustration. I was inspired by the stories of others and will work harder to make myself happier, thereby creating a more happy marriage and home. I spoke to a newlywed today who saw Mrs. Krasnow on TV and thought the book topic to be B.S. This book does not necessarily speak to the newlywed or younger marriage when they are "playing house". It speaks to those of us married 8-10-20 years or more who feel that perhaps the grass is greener. Iris has said what Irma Bombeck has said for years, the grass is always greener over the septic tank. She has said it with self deprication of her own marriage and humor and tears.

Having counselled many individuals in turbulant relationships over the years, this book will certainly be recommended reading to those looking for self-help material. The author is quite correct in saying "being married happily-ever-after doesn't guarantee we get to be happy." Couples need to let go of the fantasy world they have created for themselves. As children, little girls were read fairy tales of the prince who would whisk his princess off to a beautiful castle where they would live happily ever after. Little boys, too, were read stories of the strong, fearless warrior who would conquer the world and ride into the sunset astride a gallant, white horse. Alas, that is the world of fairy tales and fantasy, but it is far removed from the real modern-day world.Too many couples live with the expectations of their childhood. They are in love with what they want love to be. The only constant in life is change. There will always be periods of joyful bliss but there will also be obstacles to overcome and times of pain and sorrow. The ups and downs, joys and sorrows, successes and failures are all part of the journey through this world; they ARE our life. Half the battle is accepting each other for who we really are; accepting the strengths and weaknesses, and realizing you cannot change the other people, you can only change yourself. This book has a way of making the reader see the importance of, rather than working against each other, working together to overcome life's challenges. Share the laughter, but also be prepared to share the pain and sorrow, and life's obstacles. I highly recommend this excellent self-help book; the author offers some very wise suggestions on how couples can let go of the fantasies and misconceptions, and strengthen their relationship in a realistic world.