Surprised by Remarriage: A Guide to the Happily-Even-After

Anyone who has ever been remarried will appreciate a book that finally focuses on second marriages and not simply second families. If the marriage isn't strong, then the family won't survive, so we need more books for second marriages within the christian community and in general. Thank you for this wonderful book.

Anyone knows that divorce is rampant and the odds are long for any marriage to survive. Those odds are even longer for a second marriage or remarriage. As author Ginger Kolbaba says, "Some statistics show that 76 percent of second marriages, 87 percent of third marriages and 93 percent of fourth marriages will fail within five years...If the divorce rate for remarriage is so high, we need to have our eyes wide open to be aware of what obstacles could doom our marriage and take every precaution to avoid them." For several years, I've personally known Kolbaba because of her day job as the managing editor at Marriage Partnership magazine. Her passion to write a book on this topic came from recognizing a need, but I didn't know her personal experience with this subject. Kolbaba is married for the first time, but it's a second marriage for her husband, Scott. With revealing and personal stories, Ginger talks about the obstacles and the joys of remarriage. The book includes three major sections. The first section includes an examination of the past and how you can make your remarriage work and beat the forces against it. It's important to recognize the death of your first marriage, grab hold of the God factor of grace, grieve the loss of the past, and deal with the societal stigma of divorce and remarriage. Each chapter mixes a balance of personal experience combined with truth from the Bible and stories of others. The second section explores the minefield of relationships outside your spouse. The individual chapters explore key material such as how to set boundaries for your ex and how to handle the "bonus" children from a previous marriage. Another chapter explores the area of friends. Kolbaba explains what happens to those friendships and how to understand when they disappear and go with your ex. The third and final section looks at the issues between you and your spouse. The major relational issues are examined with separate chapters on communication, sex, money and then everything else. I'm sure you've heard of the happily ever after ending. Kolbaba takes a different twist on these words with the book's subtitle, "a guide to the happily even after." Yes, even after a divorce and remarriage, it is possible to be successful. The author freely admits that everyone has made mistakes, but God hasn't forgotten us and each reader has a vital role to play in God's plans. The final portion of each chapter includes a brief "even after" to give the reader a pointed nugget of truth. Kolbaba reveals her vulnerability and hopes in the opening pages of this well-written book, "Some things you read in these pages may challenge, anger, or frustrate you. That's okay. I've struggled to process some of this information too! Just promise yourself you'll enter each chapter with an open mind and heart." Because I'm also on a journey of remarriage, I recognized the truth throughout these pages and found myself highlighting and nodding in agreement. While the conten

I just finished reading Ginger's book and WOW, what a blessing it was to find a book on remarriage that was so on target! This book is a must read for all "remarrieds"! After reading statistic after statistic about the failure rates of 2nd marriages, it was so uplifting to read some positive and practical advice on how to work around some of the issues that seem to creep into all remarriages. I have read many non-Christian books on this topic and it was really refreshing to find one that not only helps me in my marriage, but gives concrete ways to apply biblical principals when I hit the bumps in the remarried life road. This book really helped me realize that the issues my husband and I have encountered are "normal" and even though we thought we'd never encounter some of these issues (not us, that only happens to other people!) - they can be overcome. Thanks again to Ginger for writing such a GREAT book for a group that really needs all the help it can get!

A refreshingly candid book that looks at issues faced by remarried couples. Author Ginger Kolbaba is a first-marriage wife with a second-marriage husband; this book blends advice with autobiography. "Surprised" is honest, useful, and timely -- the author writes with a relaxed, natural style that invites and includes the reader. (Together with wife Lisa, Dr. David Frisbie is co-Executive Director of The Center for Marriage & Family Studies in Del Mar, California)