Stumbling on Happiness

I enjoyed reading "Stumbling on Happiness" because it brought a very scientific approach to looking at happiness and the way the mind works. Chock full of interesting psychological experiments, this book will fascinate & intrigue you. Another book I highly recommend is How to Create a Magical Relationship: The 3 Simple Ideas that Will Instantaneously Transform Your Love Life by Ariel & Shya Kane. The authors cut through all the mystique of how the brain functions and get down to the business of finding happiness in THIS moment, because that's all there is. Get both of these books now!

I loved Dan Gilbert's Stumbling on Happiness. With a great sense of humor, Gilbert presents interesting studies and tests to explain why humans have difficulty determining what will make them happy. Gilbert's writing style kept me engaged throughout the entire book. His work brought clarity to my prior views on happiness, and provided me with keen insight into the function of the human mind. I especially enjoyed Gilbert confronting the reader with seemingly impossible scenarios, which challenge preconceived notions on happiness. For example, how can lottery winners and paraplegics have the same level of happiness one year after winning the lottery, or one year after the loss of one's legs? While reading Stumbling on Happiness, I was reminded of two of my favorite books by Ariel and Shya Kane: Being Here: Modern Day Tales of Enlightenment and Working on Yourself Doesn't Work: A Book About Instantaneous Transformation. In Working on Yourself Doesn't Work, the Kanes assert that satisfaction, or well-being, is not dependent on the circumstances of one's life. Gilbert, in Stumbling on Happiness, lends support for the Kanes's view, by demonstrating that people are often very inaccurate when predicting their levels of happiness if certain circumstances were to occur. I recommend Stumbling on Happiness, Being Here, and Working on Yourself Doesn't Work, to anyone who is interested in discovering the human condition and how it relates to happiness, satisfaction and well-being.

This book confirms aspects about human personality that I have been interested in for some time. One of these things concerns our ability to delude ourselves ABOUT ourselves. For example, studies show that 90% of people think they are better than the average driver. Since 50% of drivers have to be in the bottom half, 4/5ths of that 50% must be mistaken about their skill level. Surveys taken amongst college students bear this out. Except for those who are depressed, they consistently vastly overestimated their good qualities and badly underestimated their poor ones - as judged by their peers. Perhaps the depressed ones are in the more realistic group. One of my favorite quotes about the ability of people to delude themselves is from "The Moral Animal," by Robert Wright: "...humans are a species splendid in their array of moral equipment, tragic in their propensity to misuse it, and pathetic in their constitutional ignorance of the misuse." A second interesting aspect about human personality concerns the nurture/nature contributions to personality. There is much evidence that genetics governs the biochemistry that controls a person's general outlook - perhaps realistically thought of as one's "happiness thermostat." Nurture, on the other hand, is judged much more influential about learned behaviors such as personal habits. This author shows and studies confirm that after good or bad life-changing events, people tend to eventually return to their inherent steady state level of happiness. Aside from confirming some of my preconceptions, I did come away from this book with one new (renewed) valuable thought: That our general level of happiness on a day to day basis is more likely to suffer from nitpicky, seemingly insignificant irritants rather than how generally well off we are otherwise. Old saying such as "Don't sweat the small stuff," seems to hold up well here, as does, "Have the serenity to accept the things I can't change, the courage to change those I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." It makes sense to try to realistically identify and change recurrent irritants - also to re-evaluate the things that one REALLY likes, and make the appropriate adjustments in lifestyle. Anyway, this is a highly readable, thought-provoking book; entertainingly disguised as psychology - first rate.

Mr. Gilbert has written a lively academic approach on the subjective subject of happiness. The reader looking for advice on how to manage their own lives will not find it here. Rather the author looks at the way people manage their own expectations of impending events and how they cope with anxiety. Many persons re-evaluate both stressful events in a more positive light (childbirth) and achieved goals in a less satisfactory fashion (buying that new car does not buy happiness). Ironically, clinically depressed persons see how how difficult life can be and have an inability to re-evaluate stressful situations. They lack this coping mechanism that other persons have : that both happiness and unhappiness will have their season and move on. For the reader desiring further reading on this topic, Dan McMahon's "Happiness: a History" takes a longer and more historical approach to how happiness has changed over the ages.

Here are some of the most important points of this book: 1) We often exaggerate in imagining the long- term emotional effects certain events will have on us. 2) Most of us tend to have a basic level of happiness which we revert to eventually. 3) People generally err in imagining what will make them happy. 4) People tend to find ways of rationalizing unhappy outcomes so as to make them more acceptable to themselves. 5) People tend to repeat the same errors in imagining what will make them happy. 6) Events and outcomes which we dread may when they come about turn into new opportunities for happiness. 7) Many of the most productive and creative people are those who are continually unhappy with the world- and thus strive to change it. 8) Happiness is rarely as good as we imagine it to be, and rarely lasts as long as we think it will. The same mistaken expectations apply to unhappiness. Gilbert makes these points and others with much anecdotal evidence and humor. A pretty happy read, but not as happy as you think it is going to be.